crazedparent

Help some moms out...

My DotMom Gals, Cooper and Emilty, over at Been There, are hard at work pulling together research for a parenting book they plan to author. And they need your help!

As they said to me via email, they are interested in "what parents want for their children and how they are raising kids with these goals in mind."

The current research focus? Spirituality.

Here's what they want...

"Picture the reader of our book to be a person who is considering (or even confused or conflicted by) the role of spirituality indifying and instilling values and traits in his or her children.

What advice to you have for this person? What steps have you taken to enrich your family's spiritual life? What roadblocks have you been through? How has your life shifted as a result?  What would you like to learn from other families who have a spiritual component to their lives?"

Emily and Cooper know these are some tough questions to feel free to respond however you can...all in one lump or piecemeal as you ponder the various questions.

Send your thoughts to Emily or Cooper -- they'll dig you for it!

And be sure to read their blog - most excellent stories.

Saving baby...

Talk about a heart-wrenching story.

And most heart-wrenching for Jason Torres of Washington, DC. His 26-year-old wife, Susan, is on a ventilator, brain dead since cancer began to take over her body.

Susan is also five-months pregnant. Her belly is growing and the baby appears to be developing normally. The couple have a two-year-old son.

Jason hopes to save the fetus, which needs to stay in utero for another five weeks for the best chances of survival once delivered.

The Detroit News reported that according to a study by University of Connecticut Health Center, "there have been 11 similar cases reported in the United States since the late 1970s. Most were successful, the report said, with pregnancies prolonged in brain-dead women 10 weeks on average."

Jason will be on Larry King Live tonight. This is one of those rare moments where I wished the crazedparent house had a television.

Thoughts and prayers go to Jason and his family. We hope his wish comes true.

Teen partner abuse...

It's alarming to think that when your teenagers are in highschool you have to add something to the list of things you'll worry about. Teenage sex, insecurity, drugs, alcohol, getting in the "wrong" crowd...I thought that was enough. But teenage kids being abused by their boyfriend or girlfriend?

A story on MentalHelp.Net reprinted from the Cincinnati Post reports that in a Gallup Youth Survey of 13- to 17-year-olds, "one in eight teens knows someone in an abusive relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend."

Wow. Makes me look back on my teenage years and ponder if I had any friends in this situation. What would I have done if a friend were being abused by a boyfriend? What were signs I could have looked for? And what should I pay attention to when my boys are in school?

The article has some good tips. Take a look.

The big enchilada...

I'm glad I didn't give birth to this big gal...13 lbs., 12 oz and mighty long at 22 inches. Jeepers! But nonetheless, welcome to Delaney Jessica Buzzell!

According to mom Judy Nadolski, "...carrying the baby in her arms was like holding a 4- or 5-month-old infant. The diapers and baby T-shirts also were a little on the snug side."

(Photo courtesy of AP.)

The mother of all stress...

Here's a story title that took some rocket science from the folks over at CBS' The Early Show..."Baby Cries, Mom Stresses Out." The title is a little obvious, but the story is spot on. It's the first in a three-part series on motherfood. It seems to focus on first-time mothers.

The story lead sums it up:

"Motherhood is a joyous messy struggle, and it's not easy. Just ask any mother who has listened to a Barney song 151 times or pulled bubble gum off the cat.

According to the Geneva Conventions, sleep deprivation is an acceptable form of torture. Whoever came up with that must have been a mother, because during the first few months of an infant's life, mama is generally operating on her very last nerve."

According to the story, a baby cries "between one and six hours every day, on average about 4,000 times before the age of 2."

Crying alone can take its toll. For Mom, Dad, siblings, the family dog, you name it. I can only take a few minutes of it (although crazed, we will not be doing any Ferberizing in our house.)

But throw in an ample supply of sleep deprivation and there's your recipe for some serious stress.

It's easy for folks to tell new moms "when the baby sleeps, you sleep." The reality is that when the baby sleeps, you want to feel normal. For me, that means writing, cleaning the house, cooking, gardening. Things that make me feel like me. For others, it may indeed be sleep.

Perhaps it's because I've been through it before and I know that the early months are the toughest, and I will get my full nights of sleep back soon enough. I will not have big, black moon circles under my eyes for eternity.  But I remember what it was like with my first baby, the Express, and man alive, it was the most shocking experience in my life. The mom featured in the CBS story, Heather Mikucki, really captured it when she said:

"You're not asleep; you're not awake; you're too tired to function, but you're not tired enough to go to sleep right away, and you're constantly in the in-between."

And somehow you manage to get through it. And your life is all the better because of that tiny, wonderful being who is the culprit keeping you up all the time. And you wouldn't trade your life for the world.

 

Need a tune...

I love music. It just flows through the veins. Salsa, pop, metal, jazz, I love it all (except for "New Country...I'm not down with that.).

Express has the music gene too. One way to always get a smile on his face is to throw on some good tunes. Our latest favorite? Jazz for Kids. Fantastic stuff that's easy on the ears for mom and dad.

Express has one favorite..."Blossom Dearie’s “Doop-Doo-De-Doop (A Doodlin’ Song).” When we're leaving the house he reminds me to bring my iPod so he can hear it. And it's the sweetest thing to hear a 3-and-a-half-year-old boy singing:

"Say you love me, really love me...say you love me true. Say you need me, and please believe me when I say, that makes two."

I must hold this image and sound close and tight just in case ten years from now he comes home from school singing something like:

"All I wanna do is zoom-a-zoom-zoom-zoom and a boom boom,  JUST SHAKE YOUR RUMP."

Say it ain't so.

Down with pit bulls...

I'm pretty much sick of hearing or reading about it. In the SF Bay Area alone there's been three pit bull attacks in the past month. The most recent was an 8-year-old girl who was mauled by a neighbor's pit bull. She's alive, but her wounds will cause permanent scarring. And the 12-year-old boy who was killed by his own pit bull? His mom is being charged  with child endangerment for leaving him alone with the dogs.

I don't care how nice people claim pit bulls can be. They should never be in home with kids or where kids will be in the near vicinity.

We can ban ferrets as pets but not pit bulls?

Enough already.

Mighty Q...5 weeks, 1 day...

Mighty Q,

Already one month has passed since you were born. I’m so smitten.

You still smell like baby, and I love rubbing my face along your soft head of hair just to take in your scent.

I can already tell you will be an adventurous little boy. Just a few days old you were trying to keep your neck up so you could take in your surroundings.  Now you do mini-pushups on my chest and on the floor for “tummy time.”

 When I hold you up over my shoulder, you are keenly aware of your surroundings even though you can probably only see about a foot of distance. But you try.  You especially love watching the sunlight stream in from our windows. You take in everything. And there's not a doubt in my mind that you will be following your big brother around sooner rather than later, crawling and walking to do everything he is doing.

Some things I love…

I love how you sound like a grumpy old man when you get cranky. Your angry cry that says "Momma, get your arse in here and hold me NOW."

I love how if I’m just a few minutes late in picking you up you have a serious frown on your face, with the side of your pouty lips turned down. My only recourse is to cover you with kisses.

I love watching you lie on your dad’s chest in the morning before we get ready to start our day. So peaceful.

I love the way you watch your big brother, and how you don't cry when he gives you sweet butterfly kisses. He adores you…just remember that in six months when you start crawling and he takes a swat at your hand for grabbing one of his toys. One word of advice: stay away from the blankies.

I love that you know my voice and that you can smell me. How when someone else is holding you and you hear me talking, you turn your head left to right searching for me.

And I really love that you dig cuddling, from the moment you were born…all cuddles, all the time.

You look remarkably like your big brother. Handsome and sweet with a hint of mischief in your eyes.  I know that mischief that you and your brother hold, it will keep your dad and me on our toes forever.

And we’ll love every single second...as every crazedparent should.

Love,
Momma

Like a dream...

"Parents: Scout's Survival 'Like a Dream'"

(Photo by AP via Yahoo! News.)

...say the the parents of the 11-year-old Utah boy who was missing in a forest only to be found days later alive and healthy. It's so rare when a child, or anyone for that matter, goes missing that the search ends with good news.

I've had my heart stop on a few occassions when I've lost sight of Express at the park. He's climbing up a ladder or just hidden behind a jungle gym post. But my heart...stops. It drops deep into the pit of my stomach because that little boy is my heart and soul and I would be a basket-case without him.

So I am thrilled that the Hawkins family had their prayers answered and they have their son home and in their arms.

Dreams do come true.