crazedparent

The downside of kiddie cell phones...

Kiddie cell phones have gotten some serious press in recent weeks.  And after reading a frightening story about how a cell phone led to the death of a young girl, I'm still unconvinced that kids need them.

Obviously cases can be made on both sides...why kids should or should not have a cell phone. Personally, I think we're too quick to let children have adult privileges, and expensive ones at that. Seriously folks, why would a kid in third grade need a cell phone? To call moms at lunch and say the grilled cheese in the school cafeteria rocks?

And then there's the question of flat out being unaware of who your kid is talking to because you are not the one picking up your kid's phone...

"Five years ago, kids didn't have cell phones, and you had maybe two phones in the house," said Sgt. Marlon Benson of the Oak Park Public Safety Department...Parents knew who was calling the house. Now, with cell phones, they just don't know. And even if someone is calling while the parent is around, the phones can be programmed to vibrate, so you don't even know someone is calling your child."

You can guess the Express won't be getting his own digits anytime soon.

 

Naughty by nature...

The Express is hell on wheels and it can be best summed up in three words: temper temper temper. A combustible triple whammy of being three years old, a new big brother, and inheriting some blessed Latin traits from his mama.

So... this column couldn't have come at a better time for the crazedparent household. Parenting counselor Kelly Marker writes:

"Consider misbehavior to be a mistake. Ideally, when we make a mistake, we learn from it so it doesn't happen again. Realistically, depending on the task, it may take two to three times to get it right. Children, however, are more impulsive and often times do not think before they act, thus taking more practice to get it right. Breathe and have patience while your child moves through his phases. He'll get it eventually. After all, you did."

Well, I'm still impulsive. And I have been known to not think before I act. I guess we have a long, looooooooong road ahead!

But still, it's always nice to read it's all normal behavior and I shouldn't sign him up for boarding school...yet.

Boys without dads...

Saw this read in the SF Chronicle about a new book questiong "Are boys better without dads?"  The book, Raising Boys Without Men: How Maverick Moms Are Creating the Next Generation of Exceptional Men," is by Peggy Drexler is hot off the presses.

According to the Chron op-ed by Glenn Sacks, in Drexler claims that sons from fatherless families "grow up emotionally stronger," "have a wider range of interests and friendships" and "appear more at ease in situations of conflict" than boys from "traditional" (i.e., father- present) households. But the op-ed contends Drexler's wrong based on her research.

Says Sacks:

"While Drexler waxes poetic about fatherless parenting, she makes little attempt to explain why it results in bad outcomes for so many kids. Counterposed to the fathers she says boys don't need, Drexler holds up a wide collection of males  --  "grandfathers, godfathers, uncles, family friends, coaches"  --  who, she assures us, can "provide figures for horsing around, mentoring," etc. for the boys of female-headed households. She enthuses that these boys enjoy "more male figures in their lives than boys from traditional families."

But more does not mean better, and a group of men with little stake in a boy's life are a poor substitute for a father's love and devotion to his children. Certainly many fatherless boys grow up to become fine men, but the best way for a boy to learn how to become a good husband and father is to watch his father do it. (It is telling that the first benefit Drexler cites that male figures can provide for boys is someone for "horsing around.")"

Questionable indeed.

Funny as all hell...

If you're following the recent adoption by Angelina Jolie and have kept tabs (or are at least mildly aware) of her son, Maddux, you will love this blog from MetroDad. It's beyond words...you must check it out.

No cry sleep solutions???...

Mighty Q. is a darned good sleeper (knock on wood.) He has no trouble sleeping, it's the falling asleep problem where we have a glitch. I've nursed him to sleep since day one, largely because it's the easiest thing to do when you've got a preschooler raising all hell. But now, the Q  man is getting smarter. He won't necessarily fall asleep because he loves loves loves to nurse. I mean LOVE. And he won't take a pacifer...the kid wants the real deal. And I've tried every single pacifier in the free world, people.

I've heard Q cry for 25 minutes straight on car rides, and I'm not up for the cry it out approach.

So folks, has anyone out there tried The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pansley? If you have, I'd be interested in your feedback...did it work? How easy/difficult was it to implement?

Travels with baby...

Traveling with a baby or toddler has never phased me. I love adventures and I've always felt I wouldn't let a bad flight or long drive scare me from taking the kids. But I'd think twice about Moscow.

Kids feature...

For your weekend reading...

USA Today Magazine has a special report on kids health.

Check it out online.

The good parent...

How does one go about being a good parent? And is your idea of a good parent the same as mine? Is it  reading to your 3-week-old baby every day? Making sure your 10-year-old son has a schedule that rivals the busy-ness of a senior executive? Playing Candyland with your 3-year-old as many times as he wants?

In "The many responsibilities of good parents," columnist Sarah McQuade at the Dover Community News writes:

"Here’s a fun story about parenting paranoia: when my oldest son Matthew was a baby, we worked on rolling over because I knew that would be his first physical milestone. I put him on the floor with toys just out of his reach, coached and encouraged and rolled over with him. The day after he finally mastered the skill in question, it hit me that I wasn’t doing enough to stimulate his mind - I hadn’t read him a story in over a week. And, in that moment, I knew that I was a complete failure as a mother.

   He was not quite six weeks old."

McQuades column talk about how "good parenting" is defined, or ill-defined as it were. But here's her bottom line:

"And of absolute importance to me is this: I think it is my job to teach my kids how to live a good life in the world. I believe that it’s my job to live the best life I can and to set a good example. I believe that I’m responsible for teaching them right and wrong, how to be a friend, a team player, and even a parent. They will learn from me how to resolve differences, how to prioritize, and get through the tough times. I want them to learn to tell the truth, and to stand up for themselves, and to take the consequences for their actions when it’s appropriate.

I want my kids to be good people. I think that it’s my duty to do my best to make that happen. And I know I fall down here, all the time - I yell at my husband, and play when I should be doing laundry, and I oversleep and overreact and overdo, all the time. But I try every day, and promise every night to try harder the next morning."

I think I'll be printing this one out to make sure I read it often.

Oregon moms & toxic breastmilk...

Yikes. I home cafemama is reading this!

A new study released yesterday from the California EPA and Seattle-based Northwest Environment Watch found that breastfeeding moms in Oregon have high levels of toxic flame retardants known as PBDEs in their breastmilk.

Check out the study and other related info here.

Parents behaving badly...

A drunk baby? A mom suing over hot mashed potatos?

The Zero Boss has something new to write about...Parents behaving badly.

Check it out. And don't get yourself listed on it.