I ranted on this question over at Blogging Baby today: Do family-friendly companies really exist?
Since comments are down at BB I've posted the story here because I'm so very interested in what my peeps think
...
I wrote about family dining trends in Britain and
how fewer families are eating meals together for a variety of reasons. I also noted that I’ve seen a decrease in family
dining among my friends because many parents work in environments where 5pm is a peak hour for meetings. Carissa over
at 5 dollars emailed and said anyone working for a company that
routinely has meetings at 5pm is “not working for a company that values family or cares about keeping the employees
happy.”
And it got me thinking. (Uh-oh, watch out.)
Every year Working Mother magazine releases its
list of the top 50 family-friendly companies in the U.S. They’re family friendly because they have on-site
childcare, mother’s rooms, on-site dental care, on-site dry cleaning, paternity leave, so-called flex hours. The list
goes one.
I used to work for a company that’s routinely listed in the Working Mother top 50 list. I was one of the first women
on my team to have a baby so I got to find out first hand if this company would live up to it’s title. And here’s what
I learned: you can work for a family-friendly company, but it’s a family-friendly work culture that really
matters.
After having Nolan, I returned to my gig because the pay was great, I liked my team and wanted to make it work - I had heard all about how the company was “family friendly.” Yes, I had a mother’s room to use when I needed to pump. But I could tell that my team didn’t really appreciate that I had to take off for 30 minutes twice a day. Yes we used on-site daycare, and it was truly wonderful. But no one understood that it was nearly impossible for me to make an 8am meeting when a successful daycare drop off for a 10-month old was hit or miss. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times people would say, “But he’s on campus…that’s only a few minutes away. You should be able to make the meeting.” As if the commute were the only factor in my morning. And this comment would come from co-workers who HAD kids.
As for late meetings, they took place almost daily. Scheduled for 4pm, 5pm. Conference calls at 6:00. They were always
supposed to last 15 minutes, only I’d still be in the office two hours later. At first I’d try to make the meetings and
pick Nolan up a little late. But it would derail our entire evening. He’d be sad and cranky, and then I’d get sad and
cranky. Finally, I started declining any meeting scheduled after 4pm. And people were miffed. I decided that I had to
start defining for my colleagues what was most important to me - and it wasn’t my job anymore. I cut back my hours and
stopped investing myself in my job. I worked hard, but on my terms.
The bottom line is that I learned that it didn’t matter if my company were family friendly - what mattered were family
friendly co-workers who supported this type of culture. Who cares if Company X lets you have flex time if your team
members resent you for it? Or on-site daycare when your boss keeps scheduling late meetings knowing you have a baby to
pick up? I could go on and on…
In the end, employers don’t have to value your family or make you happy. That’s your job. But the next time you get
offered a gig at a company touting itself as family friendly, make sure you take a good hard look beyond the tick list
of perks. It’s the people, baby.
So I ask you - do you work for a truly family friendly company? Do they REALLY exist? Or like the one I worked for, is it good marketing hype?
