crazedparent

Damn you, Carlos Pena...

Karen Walrond of Blogging Baby wrote a post at her blog, Chookooloonks, about becoming a writer. I left some comments from the trenches. One tidbit I forgot to add is that even published writers get their fair share of rejection letters from editors, magazines, you name it. And I can appreciate the turning down of article ideas or manuscripts. It only strengthens my resolve to get into that particular outlet.

But there's another challenge you face as a writer: you complete a story based on a public figure and he or she unexpectedly does something that forces you to change your strategy. It's happened to me once in my writing career. That once is today.

I recently completed a short story, "Baseball and the Expectant Mom," about professional baseball player Carlos Pena and how he was diggin' on me when I was about six-months pregnant with Nol. The shorter version is that Pena was in the minors and couldn't tell I was, er, with child. I'm pleased with how the story turned out.

There were rumors two weeks ago that Carlos Pena would be traded from his team, the Detroit Tigers. Once the trade deadline passed about a week ago, I started chatting it up with some papers to get my story published.

Only an unexpected event occurred. Carlos, mi amor, lo siento...but why'd you get released from the Tigers? Because you were probably spending too much time at spring training checking out the muchachas near first base to actually focus on the game? No, that's just bitter me talking because now I have to wait until you get signed by someone else so I can rework my story.

Someone recently commented that writing is for masochists. I'm starting to agree. But I still love it with a fervent passion.

As a side but related note...I heard the news about Carlos Pena from my husband as I went to get my morning glass of orange juice. "Char...big news." The last time I heard that phrase was when the Giant's dimwittidely didn't resign JT Snow, so I knew this wasn't good. Dr. Drake went on to tell me about Carlos, and all I could offer up after the "Damn," was..."But he's so cuuute." I guess cute doesn't make up for batting .160 with one home run in 50 at-bats.

The family ride...

I've been writing like a fiend this week so pardon the silence. The blogosphere is fiesty this week, which means we need something lighthearted and fun to discuss. Let's move forward, shall we? My The family's new ride. With a heavy heart, I said goodbye to the old and tried to welcome the new with an open mind. I'm not a "big" car fan. Save for the beauty of the new Ford Mustang, I'm all about conservation of space and gas. But the old, she was small for a family of four. So we decided on the new.

It's an odd relationship, me and cars. I always spent enough time driving that I and the vehicle of choice must "click." I was excited about an SUV, but at the same time, saddened that I had to give up the speed and sauciness of Diva. Yes, I name my cars. Our other car is named Gatsby. And my very first car, a pale blue six-cylinder '66 Mustang, was simply called Sweetie. But Diva, she was a true bitch. She was finicky and had expensive tastes, like wanting a new transmission after only a few years and breaking her water pump on the freeway because she wanted some attention.

And now, the new. We didn't click immediately so no name came to mind. But the new car worked hard to win me over. It somehow knew what rules my life: music. Or what my husband would identify as bad music.

So what does the SUV offer me? XM satellite radio, people. When I started the car to drive it home from the dealer, I heard the familiar start of "Unskinny Bop" by Poison. Followed by "Workin' for the weekend" by Loverboy. If that's not bad music, I don't know what is. And it was at that very moment I fell in love. More than 200 stations. Dedicated stations for 70's,80's, 90's, Disco, Big Hair 80's metal, Latin Reggaeton, MLB radio, Fox. Disney for the boys. Sweet jesus, it's like a little slice of heaven.

In the words of Jon Bon Jovi: "You're love is like bad medicine. Bad medicine is what I need."

TGIF peeps. Have a good one.

Blue and gold...

So I'll just take this opportunity to send my good vibes to the mighty California Golden Bears basketball team. They're playing NC State tonight, which every other CAL fan in the free world will be watching except me because as you know, we don't own a television. But I'll still sport my - okay fine, Noah Drake's - CAL baseball cap - and celebrate when the Bears steamroll the Wolfpacks (eyeroll).

GO BEARS!

La Queen Sucia...

I'm a ginormous fan of a Latin sister, Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez, who wrote Dirty Girls Social Club and Playing with Boys. The year after I had Nol, I don't think I read a single book. But my friend HoneyBunnyOne handed me a copy of Dirty Girls Social Club and I read it in one night, staying awake until 3 am on a worknight/morning to finish. It was that entertaining and well written. The same for Playing with Boys. So how thrilled was I when I found out she has a blog? Super excited, in my teenage fan-speak.

On La Queen Sucia, Alisa posted about her upcoming book, Make Him Look Good, which comes out on April 8th. She also wrote about her battle with bulimia (she's winning). But now what I really want to read is Maybe Baby, an anthology of stories from writers who discuss their choices about children (to have or have not). Alisa contributed an essay about her son, Alex, and what occurred when he was misdiagnosed as autistic when he is, as she says, "highly gifted."

If you enjoy good, honest writing and sassy Latin ladies, go pay a visit to La Queen Sucia.

Soon...

It's been a crazy, hectic, long week but I have a muse and I'm writing like crazy. Just not here!

But updates are a comin'. I'm not fond of this lag in posts at crazedparent but it'll have to do for now.

In the meantime, check out some good threads over at Blogging Baby, including my story on mom cliques.

And a happy st. paddy's day to you too!

Blog funk...

A few weeks ago I noticed I had fallen into a writing slump. My posts at Blogging Baby were starting to get a little silly and my motivation to write was at an all-time low. I was miles behind on several print articles, seriously behind on a book proposal, and my posts on crazedparent were getting a little too personal for my comfort. And DotMoms? I haven't posted in months. I'm surprised I'm allowed to stay on the roster.

Quite frankly, I had run out of words. My creative process had gone to mierda. Somehow I came across an article that Ayelet Waldman wrote for Salon exactly one year ago about her now-defunct blog, its impact on her life, how a post quite-possibly saved her life, and her musings on how blogging was detrimental to her overall writing. The article itself is a must read. But it was the following that made the lightbulb flash in dayglo:

    "...It was more than the hours I was spending posting to my blog, reading my comments page, reading other blogs, and checking my site meter. As a novelist, I mined my history, my family and my memory, but in a very specific way. Writing fiction, I never made use of experiences immediately as they happened. I needed to let things fester in my memory, mature and transmogrify into something meaningful. The fictionalized scene I ended up with was often unrecognizable from the actual event that had been its progenitor.

But in the months I had the blog, I was spewing as fast as my family was experiencing. My initial idea, that the blog would act as a kind of digital notebook, was not panning out. Once the experience was turned into words, I found that it was frozen. The fertile composting that I count on to generate my fiction was no longer happening."

As I read this part of the article I was shaking my head in agreement and appreciation that someone else had experienced the same word funk as me. I decided to make some changes, starting with cutting back on my Blogging Baby posts. You'll see that I only post there two- to three-times-a-day instead of my inital count. You'll also notice that I'm posting fewer stories directly about my boys. The same will start to ring true on crazedparent. While I initally wrote I'd be shifting crazedparent into more of a mommy blog, I can't do it. It's just not me. I can talk about my family endlessly, but to share them with the Internet as I have - not so much. They are all. mine.

I hope to bring crazedparent back to where it started nearly two years ago - by posting things that will be of interest to parents, to folks who like well-written stories. And of course, anyone willing to put up with my teenage love for Rick Springfield. (And Noah Drake.)

Stick around.

*I should point out that when I refer to "mommy blog," I'm specifically talking about what I consider as traditional ones that really delve into specifics, milestones, daily happenings, etc. about their children. I enjoy reading many of them, it just takes too much out of me to write about my own kids in this manner. It's not that I won't write about the boys, just not as much as I used to do it.

One last thing on the mommy wars...

So I vowed to myself that I wouldn't write anything else about the so-called mommy wars but I read something over the weekend that begged me to address it. Wendy Sachs, author of How She Really Does It and a participant in the crazedparent five (remember those?), wrote a post last week about her almost appearance on Good Morning America. Apparently the producers contacted her to participate in an on-air debate about mommy wars based on the the new book. Wendy's definitely a slash/mom and absolutely supports moms who work outside the home. After a series of prep interviews, the producers decided not to include her in the debate...largely because they realized she was a freelancer and didn't leave her house to go to an office. Didn't have a "real" boss, no 401K, you get the drift.

Wendy writes:

"So I had narrowly passed their feminist litmus test but now I apparently wasn’t working hard or typically enough. As GMA staged a debate, they were looking for a stereotype, and I didn’t fit the image."

Most folks know that television debates are set up for confrontation and ratings - it's all about stirring the pot. But to have someone like Wendy Sachs get turned down from a discussion about  stay at home moms versus working moms - to witness first hand GMA's attempts to blatantly create hostility, confrontation and disagreement between moms - is so terribly disturbing.  Yet, it also thrills me to no end because it's concrete evidence of one simple thing: the portrayal of the mommy wars is an illusion.

I'm at war?...

Can we be done with the mommy wars already? Someone, anyone, can I get an Amen?

Leslie Morgan Steiner recently released out with her book of essays where "stay-at-home and career moms face off on their choices." Why do they need to face off? Why perpetuate the stereotype that these two groups of women are in a heated battle? Why? I refuse to read Mommy Wars for two reasons. First, I am so over books analyzing motherhood. Second, I'm not at war. This is war.

I'm just a mom who loves my family and loves to write. I've done the career thang and the stay at home thang. Do I care what another mom thinks of my decisions. Hell. no. Do I want you to care? Hell. no. (Unless you're Noah Drake.)

Yes, the role of motherhood is complex. It's hard work. It's life altering. It's good, bad, gorgeous and ugly. There are women - and men - who may agree or disagree with a mom's choice to work or not work. To slashmom it or just mom it. Do we read books about moms "facing off" against dads? No. Dads "facing off" against dads? No.

Instead of books dissecting why moms feel compelled to mouth off against other moms, why not write a book the celebrates ALL types of moms in a fashion that does not pit one against the other.  Why not write a book the empowers women. WHY WHY WHY write about moms and announce we're "at war."

To sell books. To fuel the fire for more people to write more books about these so-called wars.

Moms may disagree with other moms, and be very passionate about their beliefs. But could authors and writers stop labeling us as embroiled in a heated and bitter debate over each others lives? Gawd. It's worse than Sally-Jessie Raphael.

Want a smart kid? Send 'em to CAL...

Only a superiorly brilliant student from my alma mater, the University of California at Berkeley, could come up with a prank this wonderful against USC. I mean it - it's fantastic. Now, of course, where does studying fit into all this? Solid question. The goodness of the prank makes up for any lost time hitting the books.

I love my Golden Bears.

Cold-free days...

How many days does your family go without a cold? In my house - five. We had five whole, blissful, nose-wiping-free days in our home.

All gone. Both boys are sick. Again.

I hate winter.