crazedparent

My plea answered...

Angel4u1978 answered my plea. Angel4u1978, I don't know you, but I *heart* you. And boy, do I still most definitely *heart* Rick Springfield after this little video. So dreamy. And seriously, who could not love this man after he flips the bird at an soap actor who won't participate in some showtime banter. *sigh*

Help a sistah out?...

So why is it hitting me just now (4:15pm PT) that  Mr. Rick Springfield (aka the real Noah Drake not my version) will be singing on the Daytime Emmys this evening. Someone, anyone, get that performance on YouTube for me stat. (A rare moment when I wish I had a television in my house).

Call for submissions: stories for special needs parenting book

If you're a parent of a child with special needs, writer Denise Brodey needs your help. She's working on a book -- ELEPHANT IN THE PLAYROOM   -- to be published by Penguin about special needs children. She says it will include brutally honest essays from parents of children who have been diagnosed with ADHD, selective mutism, sensory integration dysfunction, childhood depression, bipolar  disorder—and more.

Denise has 15 open spots to fill in her book and she's looking for your stories. She wants to hear from parents who can write candidly—and anonymously if desired—about how they have learned to navigate the world with a "quirky" kid.

The deadline for submissions is MAY 15.

Writing guidelines follow. Any questions, contact DENISE, not me, at Denise [dot] brodey [at] gmail [dot] com...remove the spaces and replace the [XX], you know the drill.

This book is nonjudgemental and is based on the idea that there is no right way to handle a kid with special needs. But we can all learn from the stories of other parents. By submitting an essay, you will be helping other parents find the best approach to the challenges of discipline, homework, schools, therapy, medication and other daily struggles.

WRITER'S GUIDELINES/WHAT WE NEED FROM YOU appear below:
WHAT WE NEED FROM YOU

Again, thank you for taking such an interest in writing for ELEPHANT
IN THE PLAYROOM, which will be published by Hudson Street Press, a
division of Penguin, in Winter 07. We're looking specifically for
unique stories – and if it is truly your experience, then it is
unique.  We want to know about something you went through, something
you have learned that you want other moms and dads to know about that
will help them, such as how you dealt with

school?
other kids?
medication?
experiences with doctors?
How has having a special needs child affected your worklife? Your
friendships? Your own mental health?
What happened to your marriage trying to deal with your child?
How do you handle relationships with other relatives/siblings?

*More than anything, we need for you to provide details – intimate,
close descriptions of something that happened that changed how you or
others think and feel about your child's condition.  We need to know
how you felt before, during and after.*

Your essay has to be PERSONAL – a story about some experience you had
with your child's disability, how the experience affected you, WHAT
YOU LEARNED FROM YOUR EXPERIENCE AND WHAT OTHER PARENTS LIKE YOU CAN
LEARN FROM IT.

Although we value the details and the advocates that you all are for
your children on a daily basis, we cannot use essays that are:
• diagnostic intake diaries
• oral/written case histories
• an argument convincing us why your child's case is either different
from or the same as everyone else's (all of them are both)
• a general vote of support for some type of therapy over another -
all therapies are right if they work for your child, and wrong if they
don't.


START YOUR ESSAY WITH THIS INFORMATION:

FIRST LINE: the sentence:
        "What I want other parents to know"

SECOND LINE: What section of our book your essay fits into.  For example:
        "Different Minds Think Differently"

THIRD LINE: Your name, your town, your state, your phone number.  For example:
Letty Boyce, Cleveland, Ohio, (777) 777-7777

FOURTH LINE: your email address
Letty.Boyce@aol.com

FIFTH LINE:  In italics, a complete sentence explaining who you are,
the name and age of your child and his or her diagnosis.  For example:
Letty Boyce is the mother of Jacob, a 3 year old preschooler diagnosed
with autism.

LIMIT YOUR ESSAY to 800-1,000 words (3-4 pages)

WHEN YOU START WRITING:
1.  Begin with the statement:  "The one thing I want other parents to
know is..."
2.  Put these details in the FIRST TWO or THREE SENTENCES:
        * the child  you're writing about
        * the other children in his/her life (siblings or children in your home)
        * the child's diagnosis and when he/she was diagnosed

AS YOU WRITE, ALWAYS BEAR IN MIND THE ONE THING YOU WANT TO CONVEY TO
OTHER PARENTS:
1.  What do you really want to say to other parents?
2.  What exactly will I learn as a parent who is looking to learn
something useful from reading about your experience?

THINK ABOUT WHERE YOUR STORY WILL FIT IN OUR BOOK:
There are six main parts.  Your story must fit in one of them

Part I:  "I Couldn't Put My Finger On It—Something Wasn't Right"
Part II:  "Medication: Why We Chose To Use It/Not Use It"
Part III:  "Learning: Different Minds Think Differently"
Part IV   Exceptional Progress: How My Child Became A Success
Part V:  Explaining Your Child Friends & Family: "You Just Don't Understand"
Part VI:  How I've Grown to LOVE having a not-so-average kid

And send your submissions to Denise [dot] brodey [at] gmail [dot] com by May 15th.

End the "mommy wars"...

I've been pretty vocal about my belief that the "mommy wars" concept is just a media-contrived melodrama. As a journalist, I grow frustrated and tired of other outlets continuing to create add fire to a non-existent flame and wonder why they don't focus on more important issues. Like extended, paid maternity leave. Because it's not sexy, of course.

So I was thrilled to see this petition from MomsRising - it calls for an end to the so-called mommy wars:

"Let the heads of CBS, NBC, and ABC know it's time to move beyond the false rhetoric of the 'Mommy Wars,' because all moms are in the same boat. We all need better family-friendly policies. It’s time to focus on real problems in need of real solutions. The signed petition, with your comments, will be delivered at a media event in New York City on Ceasefire Day...''

Ceasefire Day will be May 16th, the day after Mother's Day.

Take a minute and sign the petition.

Social networking for tweens and younger

So this article blew me away...about a new "internet safe" social networking site, Imbee.com, for children ages 8-14 years old. Forgive me, but why does an 8-year-old need a social networking site? Am I remiss in thinking that something called "school" should provide opportunity for social networking? What about afterschool sports? Clubs? Fine, call me old-school. I just don't get it.

Place your bets now. In five years there will be a glut of studies about how kids are even MORE overweight and inactive thanks to time spent not in front of the television, but the computer. Somehow, it'll be okay because these kids will not be sitting on their asses watching mind-sucking shows. They'll be "networking" online. But it'll be safe. No freaks at Imbee.com. Just good-ole fun.

Children 2.0.

Silicon valley moms...

Silicon Valley moms are such an eclectic bunch. A few of them just started a new blog...the Silicon Valley Moms blog. If you're interested in catching a glimpse - albeit a narrow one - of life in the Valley for some moms, check it out.

Side note: Is it me or is there an upswing in folks trying to start "the blog" for moms...the online resource/community/information source/neat shit site for all things mom. I guess this blogging thing is finally catching on.

Lil' swimmers...

A few weeks ago the NYT Sunday magazine had a wild feature about women trolling for sperm donors (see: "Wanted: A Few Good Sperm"). I hadn't quite realized how far the search for a sperm donor had gone. At first, I have to admit I was appalled. Yet I couldn't pass judgment on these women who only want to experience what I've been blessed to experience the old-fashioned way, so to speak - great relationship, loving husband (hello, he is Noah Drake), and well, youknowwhatI'msayin'...resulting in two seriously adorable sons.

Another article from SF Chronicle columnist Mark Morford wrote a story yesterday that had an interesting spin on the whole concept. To sum it up, Morford says the sperm-donor route may seem impersonal and convoluted, but we are on this planet to create new ways of living.

He writes:

And playing with reproduction and family structure is one hell of an often glorious, often tortuous way to do exactly that. What, you thought we were all done? Not even close.

The thing about Mark is that he's so damn good at writing, I can't tell whether I should believe him or laugh with him. His columns are always filled with belly-laugh sarcasm, but this has one has a different vibe.

You decide.

The book and other crazedparent happenings...

My posts at crazedparent have been few and far between for the past few months. Besides turning some of the celebrity gossip creative juices over to Blogging Baby, I've also been working on several stories for the San Francisco Chronicle, writing short stories (including the one on Carlos Pena), and well, being a mom. I've also been knee-deep in efforts to publish a book.

The book...A few months ago I came up with an idea of creating an anthology with stories about fatherhood. I won't get into the details of how I got there - saving that for the intro - but it was a single event that made me think other folks would be equally intrigued by stories from dads. My agent agreed, and so I asked Jason Avant of DadCentric and Petcobra, to join me as the co-author of this book. We're both incredibly jazzed about this project and are in the midst of pulling together the proposal and securing contributers. It's been such fun to develop our target list of dads to author stories. This ain't your father's Oldsmobile. We're going after some heavy hitters - some who will surprise you - with fantastic tales to tell. Jason and I will be posting a call for submissions as soon as the proposal is done (early May). We'll have a separate website for the book and I'll be posting more information here.

That said, I'm a busy chica - but don't wipe me off your list of reads quite yet. I'm hoping to post to crazedparent at least once a week. But I'll be posting information related to story research, journalism, writing projects and other non-parenting reads at my personal web site, www DOT charleneprince DOT com.

And if you haven't read it yet, check out the NYT's Sunday magazine cover story. It's surreal and so very sad.

Mystery boxes, replay...

In my effort to stay focused on other writing projects, I finally cut the official cord to DotMoms. I'm off the official roster, but you can always find my archived posts. I was just reading over my old posts - I started writing for DotMoms back in September 2004. I came across one of my favorite stories, "Mystery Boxes," and I just felt like sharing it on crazedparent since I'm guessing readers didn't catch it back when it originally appeared on August 17, 2005. Enjoy.

Mystery Boxes

My parents have been secretly leaving boxes of my old stuff in my garage. Boxes containing records, photo albums, high school yearbooks, Hello Kitty trinkets... all things that I left behind at their home when I moved out many moons ago. It's turned into a game. They love to see how long it will take before I discover a new box in our garage storage shelves. Mom and dad are getting really creative in hiding them. I don't actively look, mind you. These boxes always seem to appear when I least expect it. And I always react the same way, shouting "Damn you! Another box of crap for me to get rid of!" Which, I guess, is exactly what they want... it's probably the same thing they say when they find my stuff.

One of these boxes had a set of books -- Beverly Clearly's Ramona series: Ramona the Brave, Ramona and Her Mother, and so on. They were my favorite. I would read them repeatedly, never tiring of heroine Ramona Quimby and her wonderful antics. As the youngest in my family, I could relate to being thought of as a pest, like Ramona often was by her sister, Beezus.

One night as I was nursing Quin, I looked over at my bookshelf and noticed these Ramona books gathering dust. I grabbed one and started flipping through the pages. I then I found myself reading them during every nursing session. It was as if I had found an old friend.

Nolan happened to see one of the books, Beezus and Ramona.

"Mom, what's this book about?" he said. I told him that when I was a little girl, I used to read a book about a little girl named Ramona. In this particular book Ramona was four years old and in preschool. He liked that, since he is nearly four and in preschool.

"Will you read this Mom?" he asked.

"Are you sure?" I asked. "There are not very many pictures. It's mostly words."

"Mommy, read it."

So I did. Nolan listened intently to chapter after chapter of pure storytelling. He laughed at the right spots and asked questions about why Ramona was being naughty, and why sister Beezus was cross with Ramona.

Throughout the book, Beezus struggles with her feelings about Ramona, feeling guilty because she sometimes just doesn't like her little sister. The book ends with Beezus realizing it's normal to have these feelings, and that sometimes Ramona doesn't like Beezus too.

Nolan's been going through some growing pains as he figures out his role as a big brother. Quin, now three months old, is a sweet baby and rarely cries. But when he does, or when Nolan has to wait for me because I am with Quin, Nolan shouts, "I don't like Quin." Thanks to my old Ramona books, he understands that it's okay to feel this way. I think it's made his world a little easier.

I'm anxious to find another box of old treasures in my garage, courtesy of my folks. It just may hold something from my childhood that not only taught me something about life, but can help my boys too.

Breakin' tunes...

I'm still in complete adoration of XM satellite radio, but since I can't bring my car in the house, my iPod Nano still rules my world. Leave it to the brilliant folks at iTunes to come up with what they call an iTunes Essential..."Breakdance Classics." If you were a tween in the '80s, this playlist kicks ass.

Yes, my sons dig Laurie Berkner, but dammit, they will learn how to groove to some fine tunes: "Rockit" by Herbie Hancock, "The Breaks" by Kurtis Blow, "Rapture," by Blondie, and "Don't Stop - Planet Rock" by Afrika Bambaataa. And we're just scratchin' the surface.

It's always fun to taint my boys with my love of so-called "bad music." Ten months of carrying them, labor, delivery, sleepness nights, engorged boobs...

I am owed this pleasure of bad music tainting.