I came across my house in the middle of somewhere
with a big black dog and a cherry eye
(woo-hoo, woo hoo)
i fell in fear, upon my back
i said don't look back, just keep on walking.
(woo-hoo,woo-hoo)
when the big black dog that looked my way,
said hey lady, will you take me to the vet?
(woo-hoo,woo-hoo)
and i cried no, no, no,no-no-no
i cried no, no, you're not the dog for me.
no, no, no,no-no-no
i cried no, no, you're not the dog for me.
This is my song for the week as Luna developed a random case of cherry eye. With her jet black fur, the red bulging third eyelid makes her look like the devil is glaring at you. And let's face it: after she stole half a pound of uncooked bacon from the kitchen counter and ate it in about two seconds, she is the devil.
She looks so sad. Pitiful in fact. Embarrassed at her eye blemish. Look at those ears, all droopy. And those eyes that say, "Stop! Don't look at me! I'm hid-e-ous. I am not worthy of your love and cuddles." Although, it didn't stop her from stealing the bacon. She's a wonderful diva. If dogs could receive an Academy Award for Best Performance as a Sick Canine, she would nail it.
For the next week we have to put a quarter inch of ointment in her cherry eye to see it the inflammation will go away. It's worse than trying to put eye drops in a screaming toddler. I mean, I could sit on my kid for two seconds and get the drops in. But a 42 pound dog? One quarter inch of Vaseline-like gunk? Did I mention we have to do this three times a day? Who makes this stuff up?! By the time this effort is complete I not only smell like dog, I'm dripping with sweat.
But the boys, they love a good circus act. They just plant themselves on the couch and watch mommy wrasslin' with the dog. They're not shy about how funny they think the scene is...they laugh, they shriek, they jump up and down screaming with glee when I have to start all over. It's like Looney Tunes live.
Then there's the cone. The preventative piece of plastic to stop Luna from scratching off her eyeball. Only it spends more time as a Q.'s lamp shade.
But in all seriousness, this shit is not bananas. We're hoping the cherry eye mysteriously disappears lest she require surgery to reposition the gland in question.
Damn dog.
