The first time Seven asked if he could eat oysters when he was four years old, I knew I was blessed with an adventurous eater Example: His lunch today included a Waldorf salad via the August issue of Sunset magazine, sans chicken but with blue cheese). Even now, as he approaches eight, he's willing to try foods that some adults won't even touch--even if it's just so he can decide it won't appear on his personal menu. Q., at four years old won't eat touch oysters. But he loves food. When your kids are grabbing at a Charcuterie plate before you can say "Wait! I need a picture!", you know you're lucky. And that's really as much as any parent can ask when it comes to their child's eating habits.
I love everything about bringing food and kids together. I love that my boys look at the kitchen as a place where fun things happen. That they enjoy perusing cook books as much as a copy of the latest release in The Magic Tree House series. That when asked where we should go when it's "family date night," they can vocalize exactly where they want to eat and why, from being in the mood for fresh tacos to wanting to visit a brew pub so that we can all catch the SF Giants on television.
Because our kids are good eaters, my husband and I, as parents, have rarely shied away from taking them to restaurants (save for a really wicked terrible two/early three stage with Q.). And while we're never scared to take them to a restaurant, we do have boundaries. It's called using common sense. We want to take our kids out when we know it will be enjoyable for all of us--including anyone who might be sitting near us. We'd never think of taking them out to eat after an afternoon in the hot sun at the pool because it's just asking for a meltdown. We'd think three-times over if even one of them showed signs of an impending tantrum because a) it's late in the day; b) they had a rough day; or c) they're over tired. Because it makes sense let the kids chill out at home rather than spend 90 minutes in a restaurant trying to get them to behave, all the while disturbing other people's meals. Plus? Everyone, including mom and dad, just ends up anxious, stressed out and pissed off.
That said, there are those unpredictable moments when your kid, who seemed happy before going out, has a fit because he's not getting his way. Or the tiredness decides to hit as soon as the waiter arrives at your table. And you just have to deal with it, whether it's taking your kid outside for a little pow wow about behavior and expectations or flat-out leaving the restaurant because you just know it won't go well if you stay.
Catching up on my blog reads, I came across a post over at Slash/Food about a waiter in England who left a rather choice sentence on the bill of a family with a toddler. It said, "Thankyoulittle F!*#&$". (image here). The toddler's dad told a paper that his daughter was "a little grumbly" at dinner, but not such a mess that warranted such hostile response from the waitress.
The story itself was slightly entertaining and it was obviously uncool of the waitress to leave that message on the bill. But the comments on the post were telling. I continue to be amazed at the number of people who believe that parents should not take young children out to restaurants that are "nice." The thought is that if you have young kids, you should be relegated to a restaurant that is raging with kids, and where said kids are allowed to misbehave and be loud because hey, no one cares since it's a kid-focused eatery.
On the contrary, I think it's a parent's responsibility to take their kids to nice restaurants and cafes so they can learn how to behave while dining out. They can practice their manners and learn to appreciate good food. Not a four-star restaurant (yet), but a place that has cloth napkins, a pretty/funky atmosphere, a loud-ish vibe and a kid's menu that goes beyond chicken nuggets, glorified mac n' cheese, plain pasta and pizza where the mozzerella slides off after the first bite and the sauce is so steaming hot your kid burns his tongue right away.
Also? I think parents need to know that it's okay if your kids aren't perfectly behaved when you go out to eat. It happens. But parents also need to know that if their kids misbehave while eating out, they have to deal with it. And swiftly.
And restaurants and patrons need to know that the little kid who is having a meltdown may not be a bad seed. Maybe the child has Asperger's syndrome or is autistic, and is learning how to deal with being out in public places. Read: Don't assume anything about a kid. A little compassion towards the parents and kid go a long, long way.
Eating out with kids: It's all about common sense (and a little luck). You have to know your kids, and you have to know when it's best to just cut your loses instead of giving in to your need to get out.
Can you tell that I've got kids and food and restaurants on the brain?
Tomorrow, I'll be sharing some neat tips about eating out with kids that I received from Toni Bloom, the founder of Funfoodle.com. And you might be surprised by what she has to say.
But first, a horror story. When Seven was three, we ate a nice restaurant and noticed he was starting to wilt. Within five minutes, he had thrown up all over me. Why? He overheated. The place had the heat cranked up. We got our meals to go and left a heft tip, but haven't returned since.
Your turn. Restaurant horror stories while dining out with your kids? Do tell.
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