crazedparent

You just knew they'd go there...

As anticipated, John and Elizabeth Edwards announced yesterday that her cancer had returned. During the press conference, they -- and especially Elizabeth -- appeared strong, optimistic and at peace. Reporters asked if John Edwards would continue in his presidential bid and he said, without a doubt "yes."

And of course, political pundits are going there. As SF Chronicle columnist CW Nevius writes today, "You wouldn't think having cancer would be controversial." He adds, "Some radio talk show hosts speculated that the move was "political,'' and Internet bloggers and commentators basically accused Edwards of using his wife's illness for a political boost."

Seriously folks. These two people have survived the death of their son. They survived Elizabeth's first battle with breast cancer. Some couples wouldn't have even lasted the first challenge. But this husband and wife, this family, is as tight as a steel vault.  As CityMama pointed out yesterday, Elizabeth Edwards is a fighter. And if you met her for two minutes, or read her book, you'd never question for a second  this decision to move forward with their lives.

The world has never stopped for them. It only moves forward. And so will they.

That's not political. That's courage.

Ban on toxic toys, bottles...

I'm a week behind on posting about this story with the holidays. Nonetheless, the topic is worthwhile and so, here we go...

Last Sunday, SF Chronicle writer Jane Kay had a front page feature about San Francisco's ban on toxic substances in baby/children's items, ranging from teething rings to plastic books. She points out in her story:

"The toxic chemicals, which are used to harden or soften plastics, can leach out each time a baby sucks on a favorite doll or gnaws on a cool teething ring, scientists say."

San Francisco will be the first city in the country to institute a ban on any baby product that contains  polycarbonates, focusing on bisphenol A and certain levels of phthalates. The Chron decided to run some tests on baby products, even ones promoted as "safe," to see if they contained levels of these two toxins. Check out the full results here. The lab outsourced by the Chron found that a bunch of Gerber bottle nipples and the Avent nipples had low levels (which wouldn't be banned). But a popular teething ring, Little Remedies Little Teethers, which comes with an oral pain-relief gel, had "one phthalate at nearly five times the limit."

I won't be using the Little Remedies Teethers. And we're not big on plastic stuff to being with, unless you count our obsession with this thing called Lego. We're also past the bottle stage (although we do use sippy cups - I'd be curious what the content of phthalate is in the Gerber sippy cup lid.)

However, if you are using bottles, I do want to point you to a product coming on the market soon. My friend, Sarah, is part owner of a company called Adiri. They make the Breastbottle Nurser. What's cool is that they will be introducing a new bottle fairly soon, and it will be 100% free of polycarbonates. Adiri's timing couldn't be better.

Peter Hartlaub, a Chron music/entertainment writer who also blogs at The Poop, also wonders what the hell parents are supposed to do with this information. You can go completely ballistic and wipe your home of any and all plastic items that you fear could be toxic. You could not care. Or you could do a little of both. Either way, a ban on toxins in baby products is good. And I hope we see more independent studies conducted like one recently completed by the Chron.*

*In the interest of fair disclosure, although most of my readers know this, I do freelance for the SF Chronicle but had no involvement in this article. Nor do I know reporter Jane Kay.

Parents gone wild...

"...what are these kids going to do when they leave home and have a boss or a professor they don't like? They can't destroy everyone they don't like.'' - Shari Rodriguez, volleyball coach, Castro Valley High School.

We've all read or heard about the scenario where a parent goes absolutely ballistic watching his or her child at a sports event. Berating--or literally beating--a coach or another parent in a clearly inappropriate and unsportsmanlike fashion. What happens when parents decide to go the high-class route with their anger? An upscale version of Parents Behaving Badly.

CW Nevius at the SF Chron ran a story this weekend about a group of parents in the Castro Valley area of California who have issues, shall we say, with Nancy Nibarger - head coach of girl's basketball at Castro Valley High. These parents have issue with her coaching style (read: their daughters are on the pine). But instead of getting all up in Nibarger's grill,  they hired a lawyer and had the school administration investigate her. The odd thing is that the things these parents cite as 'problems' wouldn't even make me raise an eyebrow (read the article for the details).

I had some tough and exceptionally fantastic high-school coaches. I had that dual sense of respect and fear of them. So yeah, I would expect to get tossed from practice or a game if I wasn't working my ass off. Would my folks be pissed? Sure, in a normal "we're disappointed" sort of way. But it would be directed at me, not my coach, because I was the one who slacked off. Now, if my coaches had verbally assaulted me or something of that nature, this would have been a different ballgame whatsoever.

But the Castro Valley High coach, Nancy Nibarger. It sounds like her team digs her. It sounds like she's a pretty damn good coach. The school administration investigated her three times. All three times they came back with zero, zip, zilch. Absolutely nothing. Only after the third request came in from this group of parents gone wild, the administration apparently felt they had to do something - probably to get the moms and dads off their back. So get this. The basketball coach and her staff? They don't even get to choose their team this year...a sort of "community" panel will do the job. This is high school basketball!

I'm ranting, I know. There are, of course, lots of details missing from the story and questions left unanswered. I only know what I've read...and it appears to be a case of high-profile, money-stuffed parents who don't like seeing their daughters sit on the bench. I'm so dismayed at what these parents are doing and the example they are setting for their daughters. Shari Rodriguez, the volleyball coach for Castro Valley high best sums it up...

"What I want to know," says coach Rodriguez, "is what are these kids going to do when they leave home and have a boss or a professor they don't like? They can't destroy everyone they don't like.''

Back off timmy tiptoes...

A few weeks ago I was at a nearby park when I noticed some gressive little squirrels going after a table full of food from a visiting mom's group. One squirrel was literally stealing full pieces of watermelon from a plate. Another was getting just a little too close for comfort.

And then I read this story about some ardillas attacking little kids at parks in a neighboring city. Like pouncing on preschoolers and biting them. One little boy has to go through a painful series of shots because they believe the squirrel that bit him had rabies.

Freaky squirrels.

Diary of a park slope mommy...

I was checking out my stats to see where my spike in traffic was coming from yesterday and noticed an odd link from a Yahoo message board on gun control (hi fellas!). Apparently my post on armed guards at airports led someone to believe the post was about gun control instead of how to talk to your kids about armed guards at airports. Okay.

In other news...

Have you checked out the newest series on Gawker? It's called "Diary of a Park Slope Mommy. The first story was posted on August 3rd and it runs every Thursday. I'm undecided on it and readers are sure fired  up in the comments section. But then again, that's to be expected...it's a mom writing about her opinions on other moms and parenting.

Have you read Diary of a Park Slope Mommy? Thoughts?

Children stressed from Hurricane Katrina?...

Depression and post-traumatic stress disorder in New Orleans are apparently running high according to this story from the Associate Press, which also notes that it cross all socio-economic boundaries. Suicide rates have increased, those with chronic mental conditions don't have as much access to their medical help and meds.

A few weeks ago I wrote about an NPR story on how teens and 'tweens in New Orleans have few parks or rec centers available for use; limited after school or summer programs to keep them busy; and some are getting involved in criminal or otherwise-troublesome behavior because they have nothing better to do.

So here's my question...we can find articles on signs of stress in children, but has anyone seen a study on depression and post-traumatic stress disorder and kids? I've searched high and low and can't seem to find any stories about that topic. I'm guessing the numbers are high. And how are children being treated for it?

If you've seen any info on this post it in comments.

Bring back the uniform...

If you happened to read today's New York Times, then perhaps you saw the article about teens and fashion trends (reg required). 

An excerpt:

Ms. Sprauer, 13, who will enter the ninth grade this fall, is highly particular about the looks that suit her, and those she deems spotlight worthy. “I’m thinking about something maybe not like so casual,’’ she said as she eyed a selection of dresses last week at Forever 21 in the Palisades Center mall in West Nyack, N.Y. “I never wear anything literally like basic,’’ she said. “Even your jeans have to be great-fitting and stylish, not just the average jeans."

I went to an all-girls private high school. I had to wear a brown herringbone skirt, oxford button-down blouse, white socks and brown shoes. Every single day. On "assembly days," I'd have to add a brown tie and matching brown herringbone jacket to that lovely ensemble. Did I mention the jacket had ginormous brass buttons?

Yet still, I was happy to wear the uniform because I didn't have to deal with the clothing issues of a high school girl. Such as "Oh. MY GOD. I have NOTHING to wear today!" Because I always had something to wear. My trusty uniform.

It was ugly, but it made for an easy morning getting ready for school. Forget any concerns about being fashion trendy. I just had to make sure my hair looked decent, my earring were the appropriate rock-star length, and my shoes were a tiny bit cool.

Another story excerpt:

“Juicy Couture to them is not high-end. And what they are going to wear back to school is a very big deal.’’

School uniforms? Love them.

Yes, sweetie, that is a man with a gun in front of our luggage...

A good friend of mine sent me an email this morning, chatting about a relative's current trip to Silicon Valley. Her flight was delayed due to today's terrorist news from London and heightened security in the U.S. We ended up talking about my friend's upcoming family trip to the East Coast.

She brought up a really good question. How do you explain to a preschooler why there are armed guards at the airport? With very visible, very big guns?

During the news coverage of Hurricane Katrina, I asked the question, how much information is too much for kids. In our home, the fact is that we have no television and only get our news online or in the newspaper (which we read every morning, and so should you! Keep the presses alive!) We could avoid the armed guard discussion entirely. Only we'll be flying for vacation soon and there goes that idea.

Even if you did manage to come up with a simple, not so accurate explanation about the why, then you have to deal with the whole gun issue. With a preschooler. And I'll be the first to admit I'm just not ready for it.  Death, violence, crime, terrorism...why does he need to find that out now? He's only four. I want his innocent mind to be free of these issues for as long as possible.

Anyone have to travel by plane soon? How are you going to talk to your little ones about armed guards? And even more important, how are you going to handle the long-ass lines?

Summer and teens in New Orleans...

Summer vacation is kicking my tail...two boys at home under the age of five means lots of activity before 9am. Parks, walks, playing in water...I can't even imagine what I would do if I didn't have options to keep my little guys occupied.

But imagine you're living in New Orleans, or returning home after being displaced by Hurricane Katrina. You've got kids...yet parks are closed (apparently FEMA won't pay to replant grass. WTF?) Teen centers are closed. You have no summer camp options. And to boot, you need to worry about your older kids getting bored and perhaps playing with the wrong crowd...you know, the ones that likes to participate in criminal activities 'cuz the got nothin' better to do. There's even talk of turf wars.

Check out this NPR story about youth in New Orleans and the impact of Hurricane Katrina on their summer activities.

Social networking for tweens and younger

So this article blew me away...about a new "internet safe" social networking site, Imbee.com, for children ages 8-14 years old. Forgive me, but why does an 8-year-old need a social networking site? Am I remiss in thinking that something called "school" should provide opportunity for social networking? What about afterschool sports? Clubs? Fine, call me old-school. I just don't get it.

Place your bets now. In five years there will be a glut of studies about how kids are even MORE overweight and inactive thanks to time spent not in front of the television, but the computer. Somehow, it'll be okay because these kids will not be sitting on their asses watching mind-sucking shows. They'll be "networking" online. But it'll be safe. No freaks at Imbee.com. Just good-ole fun.

Children 2.0.