crazedparent

Word up: Using Bananagrams as a pre-reading tool...

Whenever Seven and I have a lunch date, we always bring a little travel game with us. Last week it was Gobblet. Yesterday, we brought out Bananagrams because I'm still a Bananagrams addict. Nearly a year has passed since Seven and started playing the game, and it's been neat to watch his spelling skills improve. More so, I love the words he uses in a round. Back in January, he would get frustrated because he couldn't think of words fast enough. Now? He is a speedy Bananagamer.

Q. has been showing signs of wanting to learn how to read and write. He asks for words to be written out ("Big and lowercase, Mama" and sounds to be repeated. He grabs a pencil and paper and attempts to scribe words. Being able to read and write is so empowering at all ages. But when little kids realize they can read a book and write a word, it's pure magic. And I am nothing short of ecstatic at the chance to help open up that world to Q.

Monday afternoon, I found Q. playing with the Bananagram tiles, trying to spell out small words: CAT, STOP, FUN.  But he'd stuck because he couldn't think of words to try to spell.

To help him along, I wrote words on index cards. All of the very simple three- and four-letter "at," "it," "op," and "ap" words. He was left to search for the letters and sound them out while he created the words.

Scrabble tiles will also work, natch. But I love the Bananagrams tiles because they fit in that nice, small pouch.

Any fun tips/tools you used to help your kids learn to read?

4 steps to deal with a young, reluctant eater...

So you take your kid out to eat at a restaurant and you select something from the the menu -- kid's or main -- that you are certain will be a winner. The dish arrives at the table and your kid gives you the look that screams: "Don't even think I'm touching that."

The battle begins.

Or not.

What's the best way a parent can respond to a reluctant eater? Registered Dietitian and mom to three boys, Toni Bloom, says a laid-back approach is the way to go. Bloom is the founder of Funfoodle, which is a class for young kids and their parents to fun in food. Lessons in nutrition are incorporated, but it's more about exposing the kids to different types of food through various interactive exercises. And indirectly teaching parents how to get a grip on their kid's eating habits.

While FunFoodle doesn't address how to handle sticky food situations while dining out with the kids, Toni shared an approach parents can test out:

• Incorporate Funfoodle tip: Touch, smell, lick or taste the food in question. You’re successful if your kid touches an item on their plate and attempts to keep an open mind...even if, in the end, he/she doesn't eat the food. But ask questions in a casual way...what do they dislike? Texture? Smell? Appearance? Make them think about the food.
• Lighten up. "They said no, honor that," says Toni. She also recommends that parents forget the "clean plate club" and avoid punishing their kids for not eating their meal.  Once it's clear your kid isn't going to eat the food, drop it and go about your meal. (I know that while my younger son may resist something at first, he may eventually start eating his lunch or dinner after a few minutes have passed. Sometimes you just have to be patient, and it's more likely to happen the less you make of him not eating.)
• Wrap up what they ordered. Tell your kid, "We’ll save it for later and heat it up if you get hungry." End of discussion. When your child is hungry later on, offer the food. "You’ll find out if they’re hungry or not," says Toni. And if they don't eat it? Oh well. Toni adds, "No child will starve overnight." (At our house, we tell our kids the "kitchen is closed and the chef is gone for the day." They know we mean business.)
• Introduce a new breakfast the next morning..."because you know they will be super hungry."

These tips are clearly set up for a dinner meal, so you'd have to adjust accordingly based on your situation. And obviously, do what's right for your kid.

How do you handle your reluctant eater when your dining out? Does the fact that your kid IS a picky eater cause you to avoid eating in restaurants?

Ban on toxic toys, bottles...

I'm a week behind on posting about this story with the holidays. Nonetheless, the topic is worthwhile and so, here we go...

Last Sunday, SF Chronicle writer Jane Kay had a front page feature about San Francisco's ban on toxic substances in baby/children's items, ranging from teething rings to plastic books. She points out in her story:

"The toxic chemicals, which are used to harden or soften plastics, can leach out each time a baby sucks on a favorite doll or gnaws on a cool teething ring, scientists say."

San Francisco will be the first city in the country to institute a ban on any baby product that contains  polycarbonates, focusing on bisphenol A and certain levels of phthalates. The Chron decided to run some tests on baby products, even ones promoted as "safe," to see if they contained levels of these two toxins. Check out the full results here. The lab outsourced by the Chron found that a bunch of Gerber bottle nipples and the Avent nipples had low levels (which wouldn't be banned). But a popular teething ring, Little Remedies Little Teethers, which comes with an oral pain-relief gel, had "one phthalate at nearly five times the limit."

I won't be using the Little Remedies Teethers. And we're not big on plastic stuff to being with, unless you count our obsession with this thing called Lego. We're also past the bottle stage (although we do use sippy cups - I'd be curious what the content of phthalate is in the Gerber sippy cup lid.)

However, if you are using bottles, I do want to point you to a product coming on the market soon. My friend, Sarah, is part owner of a company called Adiri. They make the Breastbottle Nurser. What's cool is that they will be introducing a new bottle fairly soon, and it will be 100% free of polycarbonates. Adiri's timing couldn't be better.

Peter Hartlaub, a Chron music/entertainment writer who also blogs at The Poop, also wonders what the hell parents are supposed to do with this information. You can go completely ballistic and wipe your home of any and all plastic items that you fear could be toxic. You could not care. Or you could do a little of both. Either way, a ban on toxins in baby products is good. And I hope we see more independent studies conducted like one recently completed by the Chron.*

*In the interest of fair disclosure, although most of my readers know this, I do freelance for the SF Chronicle but had no involvement in this article. Nor do I know reporter Jane Kay.

¡El avión! ¡El avión!...

I grew up in a bilingual household. My mom is Salvadoran, my dad, Irish-American. My abuelita, Fina-Linda (Beautiful Josefina), moved here from El Salvador shortly after my oldest siblings were born. I guess you could say that Spanish was my first language since that's what I heard 90 percent of the time. But I've always been more proficient in my understanding of Spanish than my speaking skills. My grammar stinks but it's tolerable.

Nonetheless, I'm still trying to raise bilingual kids. It's a challenge since mi esposo is quite a gringo. His high school Spanish can only go so far. But I have known others to quite successfully teach their kids another language where only one parent is using it. So we're giving it a go, even though we both have our challenges.

Nol's first words were in Spanish. He knew all of his colors, numbers, animals and other words. But he lost some of this once he started preschool. I blame myself because I stopped reinforcing the words and spoke mostly in English to him at a certain point.

Now with Q., I'm going big. I speak Spanish to him almost all of the time. And this is where Nol's big brother jealous tendencies become a positive force. He will have none of this "mom and little brother talking in code" business. Nosiree. A few days ago we were at the park and I heard Nol calling to me to look at something. He was yelling, "Mom ¡Mira!"..."Mom, Look!" It took me a minute to realize he just asked me to do something in Spanish. On his own. It was the coolest feeling.

As for Q., he's got this Spanglish thing going on (thanks to dad). He says a few words in English but understands them in Spanish. His vocabulary is definitely growing daily. He loves pointing out airplanes, so he indeed walks around saying "¡Avión! ¡Avión!"

Even if you're not bilingual and want to help your toddlers learn a bit of Spanish, it's fairly easy to do with the amazing books and CDs available. Forget hiring a $60/hour Spanish tutor for your two-year-old. Why not learn together?

Here are my two favorite Spanish-instructional aids for little (and big) kids*:

-My Little Word Book in Spanish: All the words/photos are translated. Q. absolutely loves this book.

-Baby's First Steps in Spanish: Beautiful Spanish lullabies, nursery rhymes and fun songs. It includes a book with all the lyrics for mom and dad.

Any good Spanish children's books or CDs you've used?

*We have no television, therefore no Dora the Explorer.

Let's make this really simple...

Do you have problems keeping track of your kidling's sippy cups at daycare or the park? If a Sharpie doesn't cut it for you, then the latest issue of Parents magazine includes two revolutionary solutions in its "get organized" section. This shit will knock your socks off.

First, you can order custom, vinyl name tags. Only $18 for 25 stickers (that your kid will peel off before you even leave the house). Not your style? Then strap an orbit band around the drink with the bargain deal of three for $7!

So fine, I have a little purchasing issue with a tiny diaper case. But come on people! Take yourself to Office Depot, buy a pound of thick rubber bands, slap those puppies on your never-to-be-lost sippers, and take the rejected Sharpie to them.

And Parents magazine, shall we just thank them for their amazing content month after month (more on this later). Seriously - the pure ridiculousness of their articles is perfect blog fodder. Because, you  know, we all spend our nights tossing and turning over how to keep our kids' names on their sippy cups.

 

What the hell do you do with all of that art?...

In need of ideas on how to display all of those gorgeous arts and crafts projects your kids bring home from school? Check out my latest story, "Revolving exhibits: Display wall enlivens child's arts and crafts," from the San Francisco Home & Garden section.

Gimme, gimme...

The words many of us will be hearing from here until Christmas. The dreaded "gimme that!"..."I want this toy!" Hate it. Any time we go out and Nol sees something he wants, I just say 'put it on the list," referring to The Santa List, which is great because he'll completely forget about it in two seconds. But I need to do a better job teaching him that Christmas is not about what we get, it's what we give too...beyone material things. And as for what HE gets...that's another story.

CNN has a good story about how to deal with "gimme" syndrome.

Naughty teacher?...

So Jenorama over at Blogging Baby posted today about an issue with her son's after-school teacher...apparently the teacher locked her boy in a room. Okay, so I'm appalled that a teacher would do that and so is Jenorama.

But how do you handle it?

Parental (and especially momma) instinct says yank your kid out of the class, get in the teacher's face, and report him/her to a supervisor/principal/school district. All while thinking "Your ass is SOOOOO FIRED."

Then there's little grown-up part where you have to get the other side of the story. I hate that part.

As part of CBS News "Study Hall" they just ran a story on what to do when your kid comes home telling you their teacher is misbeaving. Three simple steps...

-Get your facts straight.
-Don't be confrontational. Damn.
-Enlist the school's help

Do they work? I fortunately haven't had the need to use these tips yet...Nolan's only in preschool and hasn't had his teacher in his grill yet. But I'm sure it'll happen, and I'm sure I'll have to remind myself of the three-step rule. Otherwise I'd probably just go right up to his teacher and say, "Ya' wanna take this outside?"

We'll wait to hear what Jenorama end's up doing.

Playful parenting...

When the Express was a little younger, like six months ago, time outs still worked. Then we went on to getting in his face. But that's so yesterday...he's over it. Taking away the favorite toy of the second? He forgets about it. Privilege removal?  MMMmm...no. Find the right method of discipline and learning how to deal with his sassiness has been a challenge. And "no-"filled days can leave all of us frazzled. Poor little Q...the first words out of his mouth will be "Would you please STOP!"

E.S. Zagorsky Goldberg   just did a review of "Playful Parenting" by child psychologist Dr. Lawrence Cohen. The book focuses on using humor instead of a hard hand in dealing with discipline issues. Goldberg read the book and tried some of its tips with her three kids. She asked Dr. Cohen why being playful is better than the standard time out...

"Cohen suggested going 'bbeyond the idea of obedience. Blind obedience to our superior size and force is not going to last. What lasts is the kind of cooperation, good judgment and sense that develops out of a close, loving relationship. That's the basis for good values and good judgment. And it's much more useful than obedience.'"

She said Dr. Cohen also stressed putting "playfulness into everyday situations," as opposed to just when your kids are in need of discipline.

I've got this book on my list...have you read it? If so, has it worked for you?

I'm sorry...

One of the toughest phrases to say sometimes for adults. Yet we expect our toddlers and preschoolers to say it often when they misbehave. Do they even know what it means? And have we taken the time to help them understand? Once I read this article from the Detriot News, I had to admit that I don't think I've truly explained what "I'm sorry" means to the Express. But I know I've asked him to say it about a trillion times.

From the article, here's a three-step approach (what crazedparent calls the "trifecta approach") to helping kids understand what it means to say "I'm sorry"...

"•Be specific. Simply telling your child to say "I'm sorry" after she does something wrong may not mean anything to her. Instead, ask her to say "I'm sorry for ..." -- and then have her name the transgression -- so she links the words with the deed.

• Ask questions. Rather than scolding your child, ask what she did to hurt someone. Questions like, "How did Sue feel when you kicked her? How would you feel if she did that to you?" will make it easier for her to understand why Sue might be upset -- and why she should feel bad about her behavior.

• Reward a well-stated apology. If you praise your child when she's properly contrite, she's far more likely to say she's sorry in the future."

The three-stepper comes from Aaron Lazare, M.D. author of "On Apology."