crazedparent

crazedparent five: the ladies of Parentopia dish on mom AND dad guilt and "mommy wars"

It's a new week and I'm kicking it off with a crazedparent five interview with two ladies who hate mom guilt as much as the rest of us. Not only do they despise it, they have some tips on how to deal with it. (But ladies, can you forever vanquish mom guilt? Because then you'd be Mommy Divas).

If you haven't "met" Devra Renner and Aviva Pflock, then you should. They run the parenting site Parentopia and are the authors of the book Mommy Guilt: Learn to Worry Less, Focus on What Matter's Most & Raise Happier Kids.

I've never been one to lean towards any sort of parenting experts, but Devra and Aviva are, shall I say, different. Their book and website have a mellow approach...you don't feel like you've failed at parenting ten times over after reading five pages. In other words, imperfection is embraced and welcomed. What's not to love?

Without further ado, the crazedparent five with Devra (d) and Aviva (a).

cp: So I'm going to jump right into the tough stuff! What's your take on the the mommy wars? Do you think they exist or is it just a media play?

a: I have no doubt, working moms and stay at home moms exist who have some issues between them but I don’t think it is fair, or even necessary, to call the issues “wars.” I believe that mothers, for the most part, are supportive of each other. As moms, we all know the reality of our daily lives and the majority of us do understand how important it is to help one another because we all need help at some point! 

d: Well, according to our Mommy Guilt survey of over 1300 parents, moms indicated about the same level of angst, regardless of employment status.  The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence nor is it decidedly more brown, so I would like to see us remove that fence which is often called “mommy wars” and focus on lawn care for everyone!  I wish writers would refuse to take assignments with the mommy wars angle, and maybe if more people refused to be interviewed for those kinds of media features the mommy wars would no longer be a staple for media and books.  Should we discuss the issues which parents are contending with and produce angst, absolutely but this can be accomplished without pitting parents against one another in books, media and elsewhere.

cp: Mom guilt...I think every mom can relate to it. What about dads? What would you say are some of the top issues that create dad guilt?

d: I think Dad’s pick up on mom guilt too and one of the top issues is not knowing how to “fix” a mom when she is overtaken by Mommy Guilt.   Dads want to make it better, but often report feeling unsure of how to do it.   The dads who have read our book have said it gave them help in figuring out how to best support the mom in their life.  In fact, one dad said he was telling all his dad friends to read it with a highlighter!  I think top issues for Dads, which also are ones for moms too, are trying to figure out how to spend time with family when work life is insane.  Days don’t have enough hours for anyone.  If it is the Dad at home with the kids, dealing with isolation is also an issue as moms who are home tend to gravitate to other moms. Dads find it tough to “break in.”   

a: Dad guilt appears to be more driven by specific circumstances. Moms can lump all the negative feelings and situations related to motherhood together and call them guilt. Dads associate guilt with very specific situations and rarely label it guilt – men are more likely to use terms like frustration, anger, or simply feel bad. For example, a dad may get upset with himself for not being there when his child fell off the slide and broke his arm. A mom may feel guilty about everything from letting her child play with a particular friend to letting her child climb the ladder in that same scenario.

cp: Tell me about your seminars related to Mommy Guilt. What do you cover and give us a sense of your attendees...

d:  In the past we have presented our seminar to an intimate group of 5 and in the near future we will be participating in an audio conference which will be downloaded by tens of thousands.   No audience is too big or too small.  We’ve done formal seminars, and we have done ones that feel more akin to a stand up routine.  Mainly, it is the attendees who dictate the kind of seminar we present as we ask audience participation.  We believe attendees get much more out of a seminar if they have an opportunity to put something in too.  We like everyone to come away feeling energized, relaxed and ready to enjoy their parenting even more.

a: Our seminars cover anything and everything related to children or family life. We have talked with parents, teachers, childcare providers, health professionals, grandparents… Anyone who has contact with children or those who care for them in any respect! Our topics have covered dealing with childcare issues, parents working together to present a united front to their children, generalized guilt associated with parenting, grandparenting, raising children under unusually stressed circumstances, and so much more.

cp: What's the craziest moment you've experience as a parent so far?

a: I don’t know if it is necessarily the “craziest moment” but it was a real eye opener for me. When I was a preschool teacher and had 2 children of my own – one in kindergarten, the other in 3rd grade – I realized I was rushing my own kids around in a very unpleasant manner in order to get to work where I would then be extremely kind and patient with other people’s children. I decided to quit the teaching job.

d: The moment my husband persuaded me to agree to the purchase of a minivan. Never did I believe I would drive such a thing, let alone buy one.  Sad to admit, it has been a sanity saver as I am an only child and never had to deal with sitting next to a sibling in a car.  I am quite thankful for third row seating! 

cp: How do you stay sane?

a: When my children were all elementary school age or younger, I made it very clear that if they were still awake past 8:00 at night, they would have a very grouchy mom to deal with. I was done being mom at 8:00 and on to being wife and woman only. Now that my kids are older (and staying up later) I have taken on exercising early in the morning – sometimes my husband joins me, sometimes he doesn’t. In addition, I have my own favorite hobby of singing and performing. I joined a community choir when my oldest was 5 and have been doing it for the past 9+ years now. No matter what is going on (short of a real emergency), I leave my house at 6:30 (or earlier) every Tuesday night and leave the world of my family behind. It gives me a great feeling of accomplishment to be involved with this organization and allows my family to see another side of me. The kids love coming to the performances and have even been bit by the acting bug themselves.

d: Mainly I drink. (charlene coughs up her own martini)  Oh wait, no. Sometimes I drink. But more often I try to figure out who among me is ready to hear my rant or angst and then I go to that person. I think finding someone to talk to when things feel insane, really keeps me sane.  Whether that person is my husband, my friends or even the bank teller, finding someone to talk to is vital.  I think this too, contributes to why some parents blog, it helps them to find support fairly quickly if no one else is around.  I know it may also come as a big surprise that I also turn to my sense of humor and try to find something to make me laugh, whether it be a book, movie, TV show or something silly my kids are doing.

Sage advice from two moms who know what they're taking about.

Thanks to Devra and Aviva for particiating in the crazedparent five! And if you'd like to check out previous players, click here.

crazedparent five: rick springfield edition...guilty pleasure

We're wrapping up the crazedparent five: rick springfield edition with a profile of a gal who likes to go by the alias "Guilty Pleasure." I'm deeply indebted to her because she was one of the fans at the Marin County Fair who snapped photos of my magic moment with Rick. She also had her own Summer of Springfield, catching him at all of the same venues where I saw him. And, she's impulsive. At a moment's notice, she may just drop everything to jump on a bus for a four-hour drive just to see him in concert. Oh, did I mention she has three teenage daughters and works a full-time gig in Silicon Valley. Crazy lady!!

cp: How long have you been a rick springfield fan and what's your first memory of him?

gp: My first memory of Rick Springfield was during college back in 1981 whenJessie's Girl was released.  I remember trying to catch seeing him on General Hospital in between classes.  During the early 1980's I was fortunate to have seen him in concert at the Concord Pavilion and the Universal Amphitheater in Los Angeles.   Did not keep up with Rick's music during the late 80's through 90's and became a fan again when I saw him perform in EFX.  I did not originally plan on seeing EFX during my family's vacation at the MGM however the promotional videos at the airport and posters displayed throughout the casino peaked my curiosity...the rest is history.

cp: How old are your kids? have you introduced them to Rick's music and if so, what do they think?

gp:  I have 3 teenage daughters; ages 12, 14, and 16 (very challenging years!)  My daughters were forced to listen to Rick Springfield while riding in the car by default since I was their chauffeur. The rule in mycar is that the music in the car is the driver's  choice.  Additionally I took them to the movie "13 Going on 30" and during the movie I felt compelled to point out to them the scenes mentioning Rick.

cp: What's the craziest thing you've done to see rick at a concert or in person? how far have you traveled to see rick?

gp: My middle name is "impulsive" because without any preplanning I went by myself and hopped a bus from San Jose, CA to Reno, Nev. to see Rick perform. The bus I went by myself on a 1 day gambling tour bus and it happened to stop at the hotel-casino that Rick was performing in. I was apprehensive about going by myself but ended up having a great time. I arrived in Reno on Saturday afternoon and returned home on early Sunday morning. I must mention that I made it back in time on Sunday morning to attend my daughter's basketball game.  Also at the last minute, I won one of the tickets to the Daytime Emmys. I took a vacation day on that Friday and flew down to Los Angeles, rented a car, drove to the Kodak Theater, and took the last flight out of LAX back to San Jose that evening.  Again I had to be back home by the next day to take my daughters to their various activities.

cp:  Any really special "i met rick" moment?

gp: I met him a couple of years ago at a cd signing held after his show.  I was nervous and did not know what to say to him. When he signed the cd I said: "I liked you when I was young back in the 80's but now that I am old I still like you"  He looked puzzled and said "do you think you are old?"  I felt very embarrassed  because I must have made him feel old because I am younger than he is.

cp: As a crazed parent, how has rick springfield helped you stay sane?

gp: I am a full time working mother in the high tech industry and it periodically gets very stressful. It is very challenging trying to balance work life and personal life, however being a Rick Springfield fan is an entertainment-recreational escape for me. I love attending concerts and have seen Rick perform 9 times during these past 2 years. I have mustered up the courage to have attended a couple of concerts by myself. My friends call me "working mother by day; concert attendee by night."

Thanks to Susan G., Auggie, Amy K., Sooz and the mysterious Guilty Pleasure for being part of the crazedparent five: Rick Springfield edition.

Now back to business...

crazedparent five: rick springfield edition...sooz

Number of times I've had to listen to Rick Springfield's song, "I'll make you happy," in the past 24 hours at the request of my rock star son: 16

So, yes, this week crazedparent has turned into something of a Rick Springfield fan site with the crazedparent five: RS edition. Yet still, I've somehow managed to keep it about...parenting! Go figure.

Today we're hearing from atnoerh long-time fan, Sooz, who is also a mom to two kids. Her story is short and sweet but her photo with Rick...so cute.

cp: how long have you been a rick springfield fan and what's your first memory of him?

s: I've been a fan since 1981, when Working Class Dog came out. So I'm celebrating my 25th anniversary as a fan! My first memory of him is really just seeing the Jessie's Girl video on TV, as I really wasn't a General Hospital fan back then.

cp: How old are your kids? have you introduced them to Rick's music and if so, what do they think?

s: My son is 12 and my daughter is 6. They know lots of Rick music and they love it. They love Gomer too. (side note: Gomer is Rick's dog.)

cp: What are their favorite songs?

s: My daughter loves to sing along to Jessie's Girl and my son's favorite right now is "Life in a Northern Town."

cp:  Any really special "i met rick" moment?

s: The Tacoma, Wash. soundcheck in March '06 was the best! He seemed so relaxed, a genuinely nice man, enjoyed the little goodies we brought him, and my longtime best friend was with me...just a great moment in time overall!

cp: As a crazed parent, how has rick springfield helped you stay sane?

s: His music helps to keep me centered when dealing with the *stuff* that life can throw your way. He's written about a lot of things that I'm thinking about now, so while I enjoyed his music from one perspective when I was younger, I really *get* what he was, and is, writing about.

Thanks Sooz...and we want to know just what kind of goodies you brought Rick.

Tomorrow, TGIF with the gal who identifies herself as "Guilty Pleasures."

crazedparent five: rick springfield edition...amy k.

Factoid: Total miles traveled by crazedparent to attend a Rick Springfield concert this summer...497.

We're midway through the crazedparent five: rick springfield edition. If you haven't read about Susan G. and Auggie yet, go check out their stories. Today's lovelorn Rick fan is Amy K., who has two daughters who, alas, are not true fans of the original Dr. McDreamy. Her story is one of my favorites because of the golden opportunity she missed...being underneath the guitar of Rick while he sings and strums a fan favorite, "I Get Excited." The ladies go crazy when they hear the first guitar riffs of this song being played and they clamor to get to the stage, all vying for a shot at being his "guitar girl." Why? Because there's a little pelvic thrusting action on his part during his solo. Moving on...(Sidenote: Of course he stopped doing it for this tour, which if he hadn't...lord knows what could have been added to my magic moment. But I digress. Back to Amy!)

cp: How long have you been a rick springfield fan and what's your first memory of him?

a: I have been a fan since 1982. My first memory is my first concert. I know that I had heard "Jessie's Girl" on the radio, but after going to the concert I was hooked.

cp: How old are your kids? have you introduced them to Rick's music and if so, what do they think?

a: I have 2 girls, 7 and 11. They have been listening to Rick's music since before they were born. They both like some songs.  I think they like to tease me more about liking Rick.

cp: if your kid(s) dig Rick, what's their favorite song(s)?

a: The oldest likes "Don't Talk To Stranger" and the youngest "Jessie's Girl"  she says it's because it has her name in it -  Jessikah.  She has never heard "Jessica" (and probably won't until she's much older).

cp: What's the craziest thing you've done to see rick at a concert or in person?

a: I don't know about crazy, but I did rush the stage a little at a concert.  We went to Rice Lake for vacation, and actually started our vacation a day early so that we could be there for the show. My husband and the kids stayed out of the fence, so they could listen without having to pay extra. I was there early and right up front.  When he said he was gonna need a little help, I flew over the plastic, orange fencing and jumped onto stage. Then instead of standing in front of the mic, I stood a little to the left.  When Rick got into position, he put his guitar over the girl to the right of me. I always say "I was this close" the being IGE girl that time.

cp: As a crazed parent, how has rick springfield helped you stay sane?

a: Rick Springfield is my sanity.  I have Rick music for when I'm sad (Sahara Snow), for when I work out (SDAA), with the kids (Living in Oz, Rock of Life, Working Class Dog), and for whatever else is going on. There's a Rick song for everything.

If haven't heard the song's Amy's referring to, they are all available on iTunes so take a listen!

Thanks for playing along Amy!

Tomorrow...a cute photo and quick interview with Suzy.

crazedparent five: rick springfield edition...auggie

My name is Charlene. I'm a Rick Springfield addict.

Now let's move on, shall we?

Today we're profiling Auggie. Let me first point out that Auggie has a gem of a husband. He bought her a much-coveted sound check pass, which allowed her to see Rick and the band prep for a show. The added bonus? Time alone with Rick...and she kissed him. You're bold, Auggie! And it was a gift from her hubby...very cool.

One theme you'll continue to see is how Rick keeps his fans feeling young. They say kids keep you young, but after a day of chasing after little ones, sometimes you feel like a cranky geezer. Nothin' like a good-looking rock star to provide a little energy boost.

Here's Auggie!

cp: How long have you been a Rick Springfield fan and what's your first memory of him?

a: I've been a Rick fan for 25 years. I can remember the summer of '81 hearing Jessie's Girl on the radio and LOVING it. I was 12 years old at the time. I went out and bought Working Class Dog with my babysitting money and WORE IT OUT. I remember seeing the 45 single to Love Is Alright Tonite at the mall and begging my mom to get it for me. I vividly remember the gold lamey shirt with the black tie and Ron having the same matching outfit. That is my absolute favorite picture of Rick from back in the day.

cp: How old are your kids? Have you introduced them to Rick's music and if so, what do they think?

a: My kids are 4 and 7.  Two girls... Madeline and Hannah.  They have been hearing Rick music since they were born and love it. I remember Karma came out about 6 weeks after my oldest daughter was born and I used to nurse her and rock her to the music from that CD. I went through some pretty bad post-partum depression after her birth and I remember the song "Shock to my System" being a particularly meaningful song to me. She was a shock to my system at first, but we got through it with the help of some soulful music.

cp: Do your daughters have any Rick favorites?

a: My youngest daughter, Maddie's favorite song is "Is Everybody Happy?"  Sahara Snow. She just belts it out in the car and it makes me laugh every time. My other daughter's favorite is "Don't Talk to Strangers". She used to sing it in the grocery store when she was just learning how to talk. I'd get cute nods from other moms my age that "got it". She and I would always have discussions about "stranger danger" when we heard that song, so it turned out to be educational for her.

cp: Any special "I met Rick" moments?

a: My most special "I met Rick moment" would have been last year in May. My husband suprised me at Christmas time with an autographed guitar of his. I knew that by buying one, he also got a backstage pass, so I must have screamed loud enough for the neighbors to hear me. I remember thinking that I wouldn't know what to say if I did get to meet him and I spent many sleepless nights contemplating the right words. The day finally came, months later, and there are no words that can describe what I felt. Nervous was an understatement. My husband dropped me off and waited with me in the lobby.  They took about 20 of us in to the auditorium and sat us down. Rick came out from backstage carrying a Starbucks coffee and looking great! I remember thinking how weird it was that my lifelong crush was standing right there in front of me for real. I was shaking so bad I figured he'd be able to see it.  He did his soundcheck set and then came down to sign our things. As he made his way over to me, I felt more and more sick to my stomach. Finally, he stood directly in front of me and said "Hi."  I couldn't speak. No words would come out. I must have looked like a deer in headlights, because he finally had to say (with a smile) "Would you like anything signed?" I snapped out of it and showed him my things.  He was easy to talk to and was very sweet to me. I gave him a lollipop my daughter gave me to give him, and he popped it right in his mouth! It was watermelon and he said he loved that flavor.  He said he thought it was sweet that she thought of him. I got to get two photos taken with him and in one of them I actually got up enough courage to ask him if I could kiss his cheek in the picture. He smiled and said "Sure."  The girl that was in the booth with me took my camera and went to take the shot. I remember my lips were attatched to his cheek for what seemed to be an eternity because of the anti-red eye apparatus on my camera which blinks several times and then snaps the shot. Those few seconds were the COOLEST in my life! He thanked me, gave me a big hug and then moved on the the next girl. All time stood still for me. I could officially die now. It was truly the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me, and all because my sweet husband set it all up.  How lucky am I?!

cp: As a crazed parent, how has Rick Springfield helped you stay sane?

a: As a crazed parent, Rick has helped me stay sane by creating an escape for me. When I go to his shows, I forget all about work and bills and dishes and homework, and I become 13 again for two hours. No matter how many shows I see, I always feel giddy when he comes out onto the stage.  It brings back all of those childhood feelings all over again...every time. I also do housework to Rick music and it helps break up the monotony. I also work out (when I have time!) to Rick music. Rick Springfield is just a constant source of fun and sunshine in my life and he will forever keep me feeling young.

Thanks to Auggie for sharing her Rick deets.

Next up, find out what happened when Amy K. rushed the stage at concert...

crazedparent five: rick springfield edition...Susan G.

We're kicking of the crazedparent five: rick springfield edition with Susan G., a long-time fan who lives in northern Virginia with her hubby and 4-year-old son, Logan. Susan's traveled to see Rick for his 5-day stint in Milwakee...and watched him every. single. night. That's love, baby.

Unlike my little guy, Susan's son is not a big fan. But she left her mark on him when he was a wee toddler...check out the shirt. (sidenote: Susan, can I borrow it for my little guy?!)

 

cp: How long have you been a Rick Springfield fan and what's your first memory of him?

s: I've been a fan since 1981 when he first started on General Hospital and Jesse's Girl came out. I was in the fan clubs and had his pictures all over my walls.  My wonderful mom stood in line and bought concert tickets when he came to my hometown of Wilkes-Barre, PA in 1982.  She talked a friend's daughter who was in her 20's into going with me.  I was only 15.

cp: How old are your kids? Have you introduced them to Rick's music and if so, what do they think?

s: Logan is 4 1/2 years old. I introduced him to Rick's music while he was still in the womb.  We bought one of those womb song things and my hubby laughed at me because I would play some Mozart and a lot of Rick. Every time Rick came on he would start really kicking as if he was dancing in there. Now he recognizes him in pictures and will say, "Mommy, that's Ricky" and ask me if I am singing a song if it is a Ricky song. The other day in the car he asked me if I wanted him to sing some Ricky songs.  I said sure.  He told me to name one.  I did and he started to sing ... making up all the words and it was so priceless! He kept asking for songs and doing that. When I said "Jessie's Girl", he told me that he couldn't sing that one because there was a girl named Jessie at his school!  I thought that was great!

cp: What's the craziest thing you've done to see rick at a concert or in person? How far have you traveled to see rick?

s: The craziest thing I've done and the farthest I've traveled to see Rick in concert (not counting EFX, which was before I had a child) has been to Milwaukee this year. I went with a friend for all 5 days and it was totally awesome! I would talk to Logan every night and he would ask if I saw Ricky that day and how he was and when was I going to leave him and come home because he missed me!

cp: Any really special "I met rick" moment?

s: I think that any time you meet Rick is a special moment.  The first time I met him was last summer in Baltimore when I did a Sound Check. I was so nervous and he was so sweet. I got the greatest picture with him. I just couldn't think of anything to say and blurted out that I waited 25 years to meet him and just couldn't believe it was actually happening. He gave me a very special smile and said thanks! Then I got to meet him twice at CD signings in Milwaukee. They were both great ... the first one being the best when my friend, Lisa, and I were trying to get him to sing "Souls" and he said that they had been practicing and would probably to it, which they did the last night, which so made the trip!

cp: As a crazed parent, how has Rick Springfield helped you stay sane?

s: Rick takes me back to being a teenager whenever I go to one of his concerts. I can yell and scream and act totally crazy. I think this is super important because I have to be the discipline parent. As that, with a son who is totally boy and believes in constantly testing any/all limits, I really need to get away from reality once in a while. Rick totally helps me do that ... I feel like I am a teenager whenever I am at one of his concerts and it totally relaxes me and helps me to cope with things with fresh eyes when I go back home.

Thanks to Susan for being the first mom and fan to be profiled as part of the crazedparent five: rick springfield edition.

Tomorrow, find out how Auggie uses a Rick Springfield song to teach her daughter about "stranger danger," and how her husband coordinated her meeting Dr. Drake.

crazedparent five: rick springfield edition

It was a bittersweet weekend as I completed my official Summer of Springfield by attending my last Rick Springfield concert this summer. This time my crazedparent sister went with me for a little road trip to the middle of California in 113 degree weather and stayed at an Indian Casino where he was  playing (and, um, also staying).  *sigh* So much fun, so much to share but alas, this time I will keep the stories to myself. You'll have to just re-live my other magic moment.

To wrap up my Summer of Springfield, this week I'm bringing you the crazedparent five: rick springfield edition. Want to know why women love this man so much? Check back every day this week as I profile five fans who are moms and share the common adoration for a certain rock star with the innate ability to bring grown women to their swooning teenage days...with just one glance.

Crazedparent five: DadCentric

A few months ago Darren at Problogger asked bloggers to write about our blog crushes. Back then, mr. nice guy was at the top of my list. He's been demoted. Not by one dad blogger but by eight...count 'em...EIGHT daddy bloggers. I'm talkin' about the men of DadCentric. I *heart* them. And I'll tell you why.

The make me laugh so hard each and every day. They riff on music constantly, and I am a music freak. They tell the most hysterical stories about their kids. And they're super honest about their...gasp...feelings when it comes to being a pop. (Sidebar: why is it that when you become a parent the word "super" enters your vocabulary almost instantly?")

I. dig. it.

And what do I do when I dig someone? I ask them to be part of the crazedparent five. Except this time I had to make it the crazedparent...seven... since they have so many bloggers, damn them. My favs? Jason on how Dadcentric came together, Whiffleboy on his most crazed moment, Peter on why men are so fiesty about vasectomies, and CroutonBoy and Mr. Big Dubya on how they maintain their sanity...these two get the big "awww" factor. And Pierre...MetroDad, only he could tie the words of Axl Rose into his response.

And so here they are...DadCentric.

cp: Who's the brain behind dadcentric? Who got all of you together to create this daddy blog?

jason: That would be me. (Me being Jason). Why, you ask? Probably because it seemed like such an obvious idea - get a bunch of smart, funny dads together to write about dad-type things. There's a definite lack of good sites for new and not-so-new dads out there, and all of the parenting sites I've encountered lean towards moms in terms of content and style. A few weeks ago I did a post on my blog and put the idea on the table. I asked a couple of the guys, a couple volunteered, I built and launched the site over the course of a weekend, and the thing just took off. The best part?  The other writers, they're all much, much better than me, but because I own the site I get to sit back and reap the thousands upon thousands of dollars that are pouring in from the ads, the t-shirts, the action figures and the syndication and movie rights. Hell, I don't even HAVE a kid! I just make up a bunch of stories about "Lucas", and post the occasional pic of some random toddler and his mom to make it look authentic. Say – the others don't know about this interview, do they?

cp: And by the way, do you guys like being called a daddy blog? if you had a choice, what would you really want to call Daddycentric instead of a "daddy blog."

tony aka Croutonboy: I don't know that "daddy blog" is the best summation of what DadCentric is.  Under different circumstances we'd all be standing around a pool table drinking beer and telling these stories, periodically yelling "NOONAN" at the guy making the bank shot for the side pocket.  But places like that have names like "The Bulldog" or "The Stumble Inn" and that's hard to google.  I thought it would be more manly to use the German word for "daddy blog", which I believe is Vaterschafttagewurkanzüglichschriftsteller, but that has obvious complications.  I guess I'd descibe it as a "guy blog...with kids".  But if "daddy blog" is easier for everyone, then whatever.

cp: I've already read some pretty sweet and sentimental posts, thereby squashing any thoughts that you guys are just going to focus on fart jokes. But what should we NOT expect to see on your blog?

warren aka Mr. Big Dubya: I can't see any of the guys providing fashion tips, unless of course it has to do with an "awesome set of tools," some heavy-duty electronics or an engine.  I think Tony describes it best as a "guy's blog…with kids."  DadCentric is Cheers and Jason is Sam, but with far better hair.  It's that kind of place.  I don't imagine you'll read anything about the parenting disaster that is the Federline family unless, of course, they go and do something over-the-top stup…um…nevermind.  I guess you might.  And, rest assured, it would be appropriately mocking.  Honestly, there's nothing off-limits—we will be sweet and sappy because we're all dads and that comes with the territory, but we'll also be as brutal and sarcastic as the situation warrants because, well, we're all guys, it's what we do.

chag aka Cynical Dad: It's pretty much anything goes around here. As long as a topic deals with fatherhood, you'll be able to find it on DadCentric. We've already published jokes about circumcision as well as articles on Hooters and Vincent Gallo's sperm. On the flipside, we've also had articles on playgroups , finding the perfect babysitter, the fears of being alone with our children for the first time, and the manliness of the Baby Bjorn . We've even had recipes! We're really just a few half-naked pictures of actresses and supermodels away from becoming Maxim for Dads.

cp: Will you be adding more bloggers or are you planning on keepin' it close to the vest?

jason: Not at the moment. Nicole Apostola compared us to a 70's supergroup, and if there's any truth to that analogy, look at what happened to Emerson, Lake, and Palmer. They kicked out Greg Lake, added John Wetton and Steve Howe, and became 80's supergroup Asia. And nobody wants to be known as an 80's supergroup.

cp: What's the deal with guys not wanting to get the snip if you're done having kids? I mean let's face it...the wife has been pregnant and given birth...isn't that enough? I think you owe it to the ladies...

peter aka Chocolate Makes it Better: Well you see Charlene it's an evolution thing. In the same way that Giraffe's have long necks to get the highest and best leaves; men have evolved to instinctively protect their goolijangs. Let me explain, when we used to hunt animals with sharpened sticks, we had to get right up close to the buggers. We would surround the beast (usually a deer, buffalo or other such hooven-clad animal) and try to stab it. To death. To eat him. Well these beasts have very powerful legs and they are deadly accurate when they kick. Now I'm not some fancy big-shot anthropologist but my guess is, if I was a caveman and my gooliejangs were close to a big buffalo leg with a hoof on the end, I'm going to protect the little fellas. You see, we can't help it. It's in our blueprint. It's just one of those things.

cp: What's your most crazed moment thus far as a dad?

Whiffleboy: Oh, that's easy. I walked in to our dining area not too long ago to find my 19 month old daughter swinging from the low-hung light fixture above our dining room table like she was George of the Jungle. I knew she could climb and I knew she could swing from things. I didn't know she had it in her to put the two together. Needless to say, I freaked. I changed underwear shortly thereafter.

cp: Any tips to stay sane as a dad? I mean, beyond my tip of a good martini...

tony aka Croutonboy: Sanity tips?  I retreat into the white noise in my head a lot.  Also, I think helping your wife stay sane is the best way to protect your own fragile psyche....screw that up and you've got a shit-storm on your hands.

warren aka Mr. Big Dubya: Ha, staying sane.  Good question.  Help the wife maintain hers, first and foremost.  I also like to fire up the Xbox, do a little damage as Master Chief and take out some Covenant in Halo—daddy's saving the world for his son – woo-hoo.  Um, what was that again about staying sane?

pierre aka MetroDad: There’s a wide variety of aphorisms and proverbs that can help any father stay sane while swimming in the throes of fatherhood. One that I’ve always found to be helpful is “Don’t sweat the petty stuff.  And don’t pet the sweaty stuff.”  Another  useful one is “If it bends, it’s funny. If it breaks, it’s not funny.” 

But really? When times get tough, I like to always refer back to the words of that great philosopher Axl Rose, who crooned wistfully about the importance of patience. Because for me, patience is what it’s all about. I think as fathers have become more involved in parenting, they’re seeing that it’s not all wine and roses. But you’ve got to maintain sanity.You’ve got to keep cool.  And you’ve got to make sure they never see you sweat. Once you master those skills, it’s all gravy. 

Crazedparent five: Dominque Stevens, Loving Spoonfuls Organic Baby Food

I wrote about Loving Spoonfuls Organic Baby Food a while back after founder Dominique Stevens was profiled in the New York Times. Her ability to start a new company shortly after having her first baby inspired me. And the product? Yum. Although I have one downside...for Dominique actually. After reading the article and testing out Loving Spoonful baby food, I've started making my own food for little Q. That's what happens when you quit your job to work on your own and have a little time on your hands! Hey Dominique - you may have some competition soon!!!

Dominique is a real-life JC Wiatt from the movie Baby Boom. While she's never brought daughter Amanda to a business meeting, she's come awfully close. I invited Dominique to stand up to the crazedparent five challenge, and she accepted.

Here's how it went...

cp: How did you manage to start your baby food company while still a new mom? Were you used to the hectic pace from working at Sun and this was just a little  bit more crazy? What was that time period like and how has it changed now that your in the marketing phase?

ds: Having come to motherhood at a fairly advanced age (42), I had spent many years in the corporate world, working at a fast and furious pace. That professional life was interesting, challenging, but sometimes exhausting. Staying home with my daughter was an amazing difference to the world I'd lived in previously, as we all know!  I was lucky, in that I could afford to stay home for the first year and a half, and just focus on my daughter and her needs. Mind you, intellectually, it can be quite stifling to stay home taking care of a baby. I guess the idea for this business really developed organically (no pun intended). I made all of Amanda's food at home...I was worried about how much nutrition is actually available via traditional jarred baby foods. Other moms I met commented on the fresh, gorgeous food I was feeding Amanda, and I thought hey, there might be some need for freshly made organic meals out there. Most moms have to work. And who has the time to make their baby food when they get home?  So two years and several regulatory hoops later, Loving Spoonfuls baby food was born!

cp: How many times have you seen Baby Boom with Diane Keaton? Ever bring your baby in pj's to a business meeting?

ds: I love that question!  Actually, I hadn't seen the movie until I started receiving comments from people about it.  I've since rented it, and yes, that's my story, except I've got a very loving, patient husband to lend support!  No, I haven't brought Amanda to a meeting yet, but I almost had to strap her in a Baby Bjorn when going to visit a grocer once...

cp:  What's your take on the onslaught of articles about how difficult it is to be a stay at work mom? and how do you manage to do it?

ds: Man, it is not easy. I don't know how women go back to their high powered careers post baby. I really admire them. I feel like my life has been turned upside down in many ways. I obviously can't work til 7 or 8pm anymore. My daughter has to come before my career aspirations at this point. So you need a lot of support around you.

cp: What's in the works for Golden Gate Brands? Any new food lines or flavors for Loving Spoonful?

ds: Yes, we've got some yummy recipes coming out. But if I told you about them, I'd have to, well, you know.;)

cp: What's the craziest moment you can recall in your parenting life?

ds:  Amanda had colic her first three months.  Now, that's really crazy.  Talk about unnerving. But what I remember most is the unboundable love I feel for my daughter.. Sometimes when I just looked at my new daughter,  I felt like my heart was going to explode. That's a pretty amazing feeling.

Bonus: What's your method of maintaining some semblance of sanity as a parent?

ds: I have one word of advice, and only one I give my friends who are entering into parenting for the first time: SURRENDER!  And I mean it in a multitude of ways.  I find if you go with the flow, and let life reveal itself to you, rather than trying to control it, it just makes things easier and more fun!  Heavy, man...That, and get a babysitter if you can. Everyone needs a little break.

Thanks to Dominique for participating in the crazedparent five!

Crazedparent five: Wendy Sachs

A few months ago, in the middle of my maternity leave, I received an offer to review a new book..."How She Really Does It"..." by Wendy Sachs. I love a good read, and I'll eagerly snatch up anything on the topic of how working moms make it the world.

Author Wendy Sachs readily admits she has to work. She loves her profession (freelance television producer), but she also needs to make a financial contribution to her family. As I started to read the book, largely profiling what I'd call "high-visibility" working moms -- Soledad O' Brien, Vera Wang, Bobbi Brown, Anne Curry, Wendy Bellisimo -- I was starting to get a little irritated and well, snarky. Reading about how "tough" these ladies have it with their very successful  carreers and having kids to care for as much as they can...and for the most part, money. Oodles and oodles of money. They could easily not work. But then the honesty factor: Am I jealous? Green with envy that I can't afford to not work?

And then more honesty: It shouldn't matter what they do...these are women who've worked incredibly hard to develop their careers and businesses. They're breaking glass ceilings. They're working their asses off. And they are moms. Why should they sacrifice one for the other? They shouldn't have to...and it's their choice. Their business. Not mine. My business? To be as supportive as I can to any mom, working or not, to stay sane, to have a life, to not be a martyr for the sake of being a martyr.

I ate this book up. At times I grew frustrated with the women profiled, but what it made me do was THINK and question my feelings about staying at work and staying at home, and "having it all."

Sachs profiles a lawyer, Christy Hubbard, in a chapter called "Letting go of perfect." And one single comment by Christy pretty much sums up what I think should be every woman's attitude about work and "mom-dom", and the difficult choices we make in life:

"If I didn't stand before God and make vows to you, if you didn't come from my womb or I didn't come from yours, then you don't get a vote.

I enjoyed  Sach's writing, and continue to follow her stories through her blog, How she really does it.  Some really great writing and thoughts. Check it out. 

Note: I'd love to raffle this book off to my readers but Nolan happened to spill a glass of water on it. It's in good shape, so if you are interested in this copy post a comment. If I get more than five folks interested I'll have Nolan pick the name out of hat and it's YOURS.

Wendy also agreed to be profiled as part of the crazedparent five (thanks Wendy!). Enjoy!!!

cp: I thought Soledad O' Brien's comments about motherhood were the most honest of the book...that having it all depends on how you define "all." What's your definition of having it all? Are you there and if not, what will it take to get to your nirvana?

ws: I feel like my definition of "all" is constantly evolving. When I started researching my book three years ago, my son had just turned one, and I was eager to continue my career in TV news. I felt as though I was missing out on big stories, interesting assignments and that I had derailed my TV career because I had a baby. Now three years later, my son is four years old and I now also have a two-year-old daughter. My priorities have changed. It's now more important to me that I can pick up my kids from pre-school at least once a week or make it to soccer practice on a Tuesday afternoon than it is to be producing stories with Dateline NBC anchor Stone Phillips. I still think of myself as ambitious and extremely driven but I've realized that my "all" keeps changing and family time and control over my own schedule is very important to my sanity. Figuring out the balance is really an imperfect science, so as far as reaching my personal nirvana, I'm still not there yet.  But I'm working at it. 

cp: were there any moms you profiled whose comments took you by surprise?

ws: Not one person in particularly. But I was sort of surprised that the vast majority of women told me that they didn't feel guilty for working.   started this book assuming that working moms all felt guilty for working because isn't that what the media is always telling us -- that working moms are strung out, exhausted and guilt ridden? What I discovered was that most working moms didn't feel guilty for working because most of these women financially had to work and truly enjoyed their careers. So they felt guilty not if they were working but if they were taking any time for themselves. I think that is telling. Mothers in our society are conditioned to be selfless.  So if we're not taking care of our children and instead taking care of ourselves, then we feel guilty.

cp:  I've noticed a huge uptick in the amount of stories and books being written aboutthe struggles of being a stay at work mom, stay at home mom, women not planning on working after college, etc. While I read these articles with great interest, I'm getting to the point where I'm about so say "Enough. We all sound like a bunch of whining chicks! We need to stop talking and start acting." What's your take on the glut of articles and do you think people are starting to get tired of it?

ws: The motherhood genre does seem to be a very crowded field these days.  And yes, I think many moms are getting tired of the endless discussion and so-called whining. But clearly many of these articles strike a nerve with women. Our generation was led to believe that we could do it all. We were brought up in an age when girls were told they were just as good as boys if not better and no one really prepared us for the reality of motherhood. I think when many women get to the intersection of motherhood and career they hit a roadblock and don't know which way to turn. But I think you're absolutely right when you say we need to stop bitching and start taking action. It's up to us to demand more flexibility in the workforce.  We need to prove how women can successfully weave in and out of their careers if they want to take some time off after they have babies.  We need to demand change and make it happen.

cp:  As your kids have grown, have you found being a 'stay at work' mom any easier or do you find the mommy guilt stays the same?

ws: I think some things get easier and other things get harder. Now that my son is in pre-k, is involved in a bunch of activities and is really a little person, he is much more determined to have me around. In many ways it's easier to leave babies at home with babysitters than it is to leave older children who really want you. On the other hand, now that he's in school half a day I feel less guilty about working because I know he's occupied and happy.  But my daughter is only two and with her I'm often feeling guilty when I'm away. I try to carve out special time with her so she can have my undivided attention.

cp: What's the craziest moment you can recall in your parenting life?

ws: This is a tough one because I'm always declaring my parenting moments as utterly crazy and chaotic.  But a couple of weeks ago, I was home taking a conference call with the CFO of a major financial institution. I was producing a video for the company and we were hashing over details of the edit. That day my babysitter's car had broken down and she wasn't able to come. As my daughter napped upstairs, my son told me he had to poop. He had been constipated for days so I was thrilled that he was ready to go. The only problem was that he insists on my telling him stories so that he can successfully poop on the potty. So I went into the bathroom carrying my portable phone, I pressed the mute button as the conference call to Seattle continued and began reciting the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears. As my son grunted and moaned I prayed that my mute button was actually working. A few minutes later after we flushed I was back on the call.  Thank God for technology!   

cp:  What's your method of maintaining some semblance of sanity as a parent?

ws: Hired help! I have a housekeeper who comes every other week (wish I could afford more) and she vacuums the dog hair and cleans my bathrooms and makes my house smell fresh. My children's babysitter does their laundry, tidies up the kitchen and helps keep their toys in order.  A clean kitchen and clean clothes (at least for the kids) gives me some sanity -- that and drinking a glass of wine with girlfriends as often as possible.